09/02/2026
My mom started having perimenopause symptoms in her early 40's.
I found that out in a conversation that would have been extremely useful... about six years earlier.
I missed my own symptoms. Thoroughly. But the piece of information that would have made me suspicious was sitting in my own family the whole time, and neither of us thought to pass it along.
And I understand why.
She was on hormone therapy and got pulled off it in the cancer scare. That was the moment a whole generation of women stopped treating this and stopped talking about it. She didn't withhold anything from me, it just wasn't a story about her own body had the context that we have today.
So when I was diving headfirst into peri, I built my own explanations.
The dog was too hot at night. (She sleeps on my neck...IYKYK). Work. Life stress. A rough patch of 2am wake-ups that had somehow been going on for a year.
Every one of those was individually plausible, and that is exactly why this works.
You don't miss perimenopause because you weren't paying attention. You miss it because every symptom shows up with a perfectly good excuse already attached.
And here's the part that's like a dagger to the heart...
If you're not informed enough to connect all of this yourself, walk into an appointment, and say the word out loud, lots of times you don't get help.
(I even had a patient last week WITH vasomotor symptoms at 51 told "it wasn't time yet for HRT." WTF. Really.)
The women who get taken seriously are the women who arrive having already done the reading. That is not a fair way to hand out care and I can't pretend it is.
So here's the plan: write the whole list down. Take it in. Say it. Because if you don't ask, the answer is always no.
What did you blame first, before you considered perimenopause? I blamed the dog. Share yours 👇