09/01/2026
It’s September 1st, the beginning of Su***de Prevention & Awareness Month, and I’ve been thinking about how often we really don’t know when someone is struggling.
Especially at work.
Some of the people who are hurting the most are still getting things done.
They are leading meetings, answering emails, taking care of everybody else, and smiling when you pass them in the hallway. Saying “I’m fine” because sometimes that is easier than explaining everything that comes after telling the truth.
And we believe them… because they are still functioning and because we’re dealing with our own stuff.
Most people aren’t walking around intentionally ignoring someone else’s pain. We’re trying to make it through our own days. We have deadlines and responsibilities and families and worries and things we haven’t told anybody either.
So we see someone functioning and assume they’re okay.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our tendency to call people strong and resilient. Those words are usually meant as compliments. I’ve used them that way myself.
But I’m concerned that sometimes we praise people for carrying something well without stopping to consider what it’s costing them.
There is a difference between recognizing someone’s capacity and assuming that capacity means they are okay.
We talk a lot about psychological safety in organizations, but I think the question is even more basic than that:
Can I be human here? Like, can I afford to take a break? Or, do I have time to go to the bathroom?
Can I have a hard season and still be seen as capable? Can I say I’m struggling without becoming a problem to solve, a liability to manage, or someone people suddenly see differently?
And maybe even before that: Is anybody paying enough attention to notice that I’m not myself?
The truth is, we won’t always notice.
People have a right to privacy. Some people have become extraordinarily skilled at wearing the mask. And sometimes we simply miss things because we’re human too.
But we can build cultures where the mask isn’t required.
We can check on each other.
We can ask again when “I’m fine” doesn’t quite feel like the whole answer.
We can listen without rushing to remind someone how strong they are.
And we can remember that functioning and being well are not the same thing.
This month, maybe we all pay a little closer attention.
To each other.
And to ourselves.
