Sara Grunstein, LCSW

04/26/2026

Some children get labelled as “attention-seeking” when their behaviour feels loud, constant or hard to manage. But most of the time, that behaviour is not about wanting attention for the sake of it. It is about needing connection, safety and reassurance.

Children do not always have the words to say “I feel left out”, “I am worried”, or “I do not feel important”. So it comes out in other ways - interrupting, clinging, acting younger, pushing boundaries, or demanding attention at the worst times. When adults only react to the behaviour, the real need underneath stays unmet.

The shift matters. When we see behaviour as communication, we respond differently. We stay curious instead of frustrated. We look for what is driving it instead of trying to shut it down. That is where trust builds, and where behaviour starts to change.

Free ATTENTION-SEEKING ICEBERG POSTER

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02/10/2026

Children are not born knowing how to handle big feelings. When a child shouts, melts down, hits, shuts down, or runs away, it is not bad behaviour. It is a sign their nervous system is overwhelmed and they need support, not punishment.

Emotional regulation is about helping children feel safe in their bodies, understand their feelings, and learn what to do when emotions feel too big. Children borrow calm from adults. They learn through connection, repetition, and steady, predictable responses. Telling a child to calm down does not work when their body does not feel safe.

When we change how we respond to behaviour, we change outcomes. Big feelings are communication. Connection comes before correction. Support builds regulation. Control builds fear.

This understanding can transform how parents, carers, teachers, and professionals support children with emotional and behavioural difficulties, trauma, sensory overwhelm, or ongoing stress.

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12/09/2025

Free HOW TO CO-REGULATE WITH A CHILD INFORMATION POSTER
Children cannot calm on their own when they feel overwhelmed. They rely on the adult to guide them back to safety. This image shows simple steps that help you co regulate with a child in moments of distress. Slow your breathing, soften your body, reduce demands, and keep your voice steady. These actions help the child feel grounded and understood. When the adult is the anchor, the child can settle and recover.

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01/10/2025

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If you or someone you know with young children has been affected by the wildfires in Southern California, our partners at Help Me Grow National have deployed care coordinators to connect you in real-time with support and services, including food, shelter, health and mental health care, diapers and more.

11/24/2024

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11/21/2024

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11/18/2024

It’s essential to understand the various challenges children face, including the often-taboo topic of p**p withholding. This behaviour can be distressing for both the child and the caregiver, and it’s crucial to approach it with empathy and understanding. In recent years, research has shed light...

08/12/2024

First, the good news: Children are very adaptable.

05/17/2024

We Nurture Collective 💕

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05/13/2024

Responsive Parenting Inspirations 💕

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