09/01/2026
Sometimes I think that years ago today was the hardest day of my life, as you passed to the Other Side with me holding you in my arms.
Then I think about your funeral and wonder if maybe that was the hardest day…
But the truth is, neither of those moments were.
I think I finally understand that the hardest days weren’t the day you died or even the day of your funeral.
The hardest days were the ones I watched you fight so hard to stay here—and now, they’re the ones I have to live without you.
Your passing brought you healing. You were finally at peace.
It took me time to understand that and to find comfort in knowing that you and I wouldn’t have to sleep on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet anymore. No more uncontrolled pain. No more needles. No more hospitals. No more surgeries or infusions.
Those were the hard days.
And somehow, I still cherished every moment of them because I loved you that much. I would have stayed right there beside you forever if it meant having one more day with you.
Now, the hard days look different…
They’re the days I hear about something the Fire Dept. did that I wasn’t invited to because maybe I wasn’t in your life as long as some of the others, or for whatever reason.
They’re days like today when the phone stays quiet and no one calls to check in.
They’re seeing your daughters growing up through pictures from afar and wishing things could somehow be different.
They’re birthdays, anniversaries and memories we shared …
scrolling through photographs and realizing that the last picture of us together in my phone will always be the last picture we ever took together.
Because losing you wasn’t just losing you once. It was learning how to live through all the little moments when I still instinctively reach for you and you aren’t physically here…realizing that part of my life belongs to memories now.
Those are the hard days now.
But I feel you around me so often, and I am incredibly grateful for that.
So instead of being sad today, I’m going to look at my life and remind myself just how far I’ve come.
You asked me so many times to be this person. To thrive. To succeed. To keep going. To go against all the odds and make something beautiful out of this life.
And I have 🙏🏻❤️
So today, I’m going to make it a great day—not just for you, but for us.
Six years later, I’m still carrying you with me. I just carry you differently now.
I love you. I miss you. ❤️
Until we meet again 🙏🏻✨💫
