Michelle Ives Kaspari

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Carmichael, CA
Michelle Ives Kaspari

Where health, wellness & movement come together. Life is intricately woven together by threads of various elements. The answers we seek are always there!

Sharing my journey of self study, hoping to encourage YOU to take that deep dive inward.

06/03/2026

Ask and you'll be shown ✨️

06/02/2026

Lately I've been leaning into discernment.

Not just deciding what I want, but learning to separate wants, needs, desires, and fears. Learning what is truly aligned and what is simply a reaction to uncertainty.

One of my biggest fears—right up there with 🐍🐍🐍—has always been the possibility of ending up alone.

That fear has persuaded me to stay in jobs, friendships, and relationships that weren't fully aligned with my values. Not because those experiences were wrong, but because fear can make us hold on long after something has run its course.

Discernment isn't about judging what's no longer aligned. It's about seeing clearly.

It's about removing fear from the driver's seat so I can honestly ask: Does this support the life I'm creating?

The quote above stopped me in my tracks.

Some days are meant to be counted. Others are meant to be weighed.

The weighted days are often the uncomfortable ones. The days of uncertainty. The days of waiting. The days that invite us inward.

In early recovery, being alone felt like punishment. I believed I was somehow being denied what everyone else seemed to have. I thought my shortcomings were the reason.

Today, I see things differently.

I recently listened to a podcast about patience and manifestation. One point stood out: when we try to create from a place of lack, we often reinforce the very absence we're trying to escape.

Scarcity says, "I need this to be okay."

Trust says, "I'm already okay while it finds its way to me."

That lesson brought me back to a tarot reading I had in Portugal last summer. I'll never forget what she said:

"You are the jewel, Michelle. Don't forget that."

Maybe that's what these weighted days are teaching me.

Not how to find the jewel.

But how to remember that I've been carrying it all along. ✨

05/28/2026

I did it! 🥳

80 hours of intense and rigorous work. The first couple of days into training had me wondering what I signed myself up for. 4 hours of Love training followed by 4 hours of independent work - how was I going to navigate around my paid work?

I didn't know, but I made it work. Shifted Treatment Center sessions to the weekend, but that meant 15 days straight with no breaks 🤦‍♀️

Taking a breather before jumping into studying for the State test. 🤞 Prerequisite is 20 hours of internship before sitting for the test and lots more studying.

I think it's easy for us to forget what we can do, we hold back in trying, especially as we age. I don't retain information as I did in my 20's 😅

However I got here, it's in the flow, of right now and where I'm headed. Letting go of expectations and staying curious to what my future brings.

Mind over matter.
Yes we can.
Life in recovery.

05/19/2026

Hi.

This is me, finding myself again. If I think about how many times I've felt lost and uncertain about what to do next - I've learned that this is how life is supposed to be. An undoing of things we've carried and have outgrown.

Being amongst Peers in this training, all with one common goal: to lessen the suffering of others, to empower them instead of ignoring their needs, to continue to use lived experience along the way to foster connection instead of isolation.

I have a vision, too heavy a load to carry on my own. The beautiful thing is that I dont have to on my own. It isn't weak or limiting to collaborate with like minded yet so often we think only about what we'll gain instead of the Collective.

My dreams lately has had a common theme: what is my vision, what is my purpose, what's held me back, and why is this important to me?

Today's class sessions infused purpose with our career path. Why is it important to live a life with purpose? Does that matter to you? Is it obtainable financially and emotionally? The answer is YES!

Am I afraid of rhe unknown? Yes. Pema Chodron says: Fear is a natural reaction to moving closwr to the truth. ✨️

So I suppose I'm moving even closer to the 'true' me.

Reflective.
Enlightened.
Humbled.

05/18/2026

I've been in all the feels lately.....new Playlist 'Where my 💓 is' - a compilation of the journey, all my feels in love and loss.....

Playlist will be updated as I move through what it feels like to love, a moment, a relationship, the lessons....all of it.

Link in bio of ya want to follow.

'The moment I let go, you are everywhere....'
🎶Losing Gravity: Shawn Williams & Emily Rowed

05/15/2026

PSS
Peer Support Specialist

This training is intense. It's triggering reflections of past pains. It's also a reflection of resilience and empowerment in chosing the life I'm living now.

4 hours each day alongside 4 hours of independent work led to an assignment of telling your story in just 1200 words. Simplify. Edit. Begin again. How could one possibly write 55 years of themselves in just 1200 words?

What it's teaching me is to let go of some things, details that may very well be keeping me stuck. It's not necessarily the details of our past pains, it's in how we've felt accumulatively.

We relate and connect with others through feelings that summarize the experiences. That is the primary role of a PSS,to connect and empathize so someone can see it is possible to heal and rise above their past.

The reality is, we lose ourselves in the details and have a hard time identifying how we feel.

If we cannot identify what we feel we stay stuck in the details.

We don't heal the details we heal the feelings.

This ring is my reminder. To let go, to love myself during this time of my life not matter what the details are. It's all teaching me.....to keep feeling it so I can keep healing it.

Go easy on yourself.
Feel it to heal it.
Let go and let God.

05/02/2026

More will be revealed.

What a day yesterday. As I continued with the topic of Spirituality at ND, more was revealed within myself and the women from yesterday's session.

They say in recovery, that completion of the 12 Steps brings you a Spiritual Awakening. For many, myself included, this kept me curious as I did the deep internal dive through the work. What exactly was I going to be awkakened to?

For me, it allowed me to find self love and compassion as I delicately unraveled tightly wrapped chords around my heart. Some I'd tied myself and some from others. When the heart is so tightly bound, we doubt what feels right.....

What astrologers said: 'A "Personal Life Reset" (Final Stages): With Saturn having left Pisces earlier in 2026 (Feb/March), and with the Full Moon in Scorpio on May 1, 2026, you are experiencing the final clearing of emotional baggage, allowing you to establish stronger, more practical boundaries and a more defined identity.'

🙏✨️💞🙏

Yesterday felt lighter for me. Even when I was in direct line of my past. I stood in my current truth with integrity. My life today, feels RIGHT! It's taken bold and courageous decisions to get here, but I am someplace completely different than ever before. A place where I an finally trusting my intuition, no more second guessing the 'pings'.....

As the day winded down two things happened.

1. I was awarded a spot in the traning! ✨️
2. I was given an opportunity to stand tall, without doubt that my HP has my back.

More will continue to be revealed. My spiritual awakening from completing the 12-Steps brought me here. Tonight's a place where after last night, can leave doubt behind. I was shown yesterday, exactly why I'm on this journey.

Training starts May 11th and from there who knows where it will take me. The door is open into unlimited possibilities. Thank you for this life! Fulfilling and unbounded in my heart space ♥️

Happy Saturday!

04/29/2026

Powerless.

The irony in becoming powerless. It gives us power to fully and completely let go of expectations of how we want things to be. It's the gripping and holding on that causes the insanity.

Step #1 in recovery asks us about our ability and willingness to become powerless. It's the beginning of witnessing how tightly we hold onto anything given experience. It's that hold that dictates our feelings. Fear is usually the first one that arises.

What happens if I let go? Our internal voice says it's safer to hold on and worry than to let go and.feel free. The turning over to something else to hold for us is a concept many resist.

Yesterday's interview for an amazing opportunity went well. In the past, I'd hold on tightly, barely breathing, until I had an answer. It's a numbers game, they have 3x the amount of applicants as they have openings. Results will be delivered Friday at 4pm, so the waiting begins.

This is where I choose powerlessness.

Embracing that I have no control gives me power to live freely between now and then. I've wasted many hours, days, months, and years worrying about 'what if's'. Life keeps moving and fear has paralyzed me. Not anymore.

The reward? Emotional Freedom. Who doesn't want that?

As I let the unknown be yesterday, more opportunities opened up!! Not only was I offered another location for the group Coaching sessions, they want them to be weekly sessions vs. every other as they are currently in other locations. ✨️

Since I've been on this solo journey, I've obsessively worried about how I'm going to make it. Bridging the gap between living in my purpose and being financially stable didnt seem possible....until now.

Becoming powerless was the answer all along. My efforts were always there, but so was an overpowering amount of worry and fear.

Let go.and let.God [insert your HP of choice] 🙏

04/28/2026

Evolving.

The pandemic in 2020, peaked my need to numb and escape from reality. Everything I'd been building career wise was ripped away. Isolation took it's toll on me, just like it did for many of you. I was left with hours of being in my mind and at that time was a scary place to be - real, but I avoided it as much as I could.

Looking back at photos then, I was exhausted - emotionally. I'd been running from intense feelings for way to long.

Deciding to take a different path was bold and full of uncertainty. Oddly enough, the decision to begin a 12-step program was very clear. I knew the path ahead was going to be challenging and in order to make it through, I needed to remove what kept distracting me all along - 🌿

The journey has been emotionally intense. I've had to learn to sit with really uncomfortable feelings. What kept me showing up for my recovery was a slow but fruitful connection with my Higher Power.

It always was and continues to, show me the way. I may not understand the direction she's got me heading towards, or love the closing of doors along the way, but I do see from reflecting back she's ALWAYS got my best interest at hand. 🕊

Taking another leap of faith today, trusting that if it's meant to be it will. No more chasing or forcing in life - that's how we evolve. Being IN the flow, not working against it. ✨️

Early morning reflection. 💞

Address

Carmichael, CA
95608

Telephone

+19164026098

Website

http://www.theinnerlightyogi.com/

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