A Beautifully Broken Life.

06/02/2026

Ella has been home about a week. She is doing good. She gets tired easy and is sleeping a lot which is to be expected but she is glad to be home.

I am happy to be home but it is weird adjusting to being back home after only being in the hospital for 2 weeks. I can’t imagine people that do it longer.

It is hard to sleep. I feel like I am going to crawl out of my skin. It’s how I feel when I’m in the hospital and people are constantly in and out while sleeping. It’s creepy. It doesn’t automatically go away when you get home. I have been having nightmares about Ella going back to the hospital. For all different reasons. Not just for being sick. But very vivid nightmares where I argue with the drs about her care.

I usually have a hard time after the hospital stay but this is the first time with the nightmares. Does anybody else have a hard time adjusting after a hospital stay?

05/26/2026

100%

05/23/2026

Somebody was happy to see dad

05/22/2026

Millie showing Ella her team gave her the team ball for the game.

05/22/2026

Ella’s cousins team dedicating their tball game to Ella.

05/22/2026

The princess got extubated about an hour ago. So grateful for all the thoughts and prayers while in her.

Thankful for my community for people that have sent money mowed my lawn or just have messages to check up on us.

05/19/2026

This is probably one of the hardest things to watch your baby fight through. It is scary seeing her like this. Not her usual lively love everybody self. This is the 3rd time in 15 yrs she has been intubated for illness. It is not easy. It takes every thing in me not cry seeing my little love fight so hard. It seems like she has finally stopped getting worse and now the slow climb back up. Sometimes she will hear my voice and react which makes my mommy heart happy but most the time she is pretty sedated.

05/18/2026

05/15/2026

When in the hospitals I am strong. I don’t show emotion. I answer all the questions. I am Ella’s advocate. I fight for her. But nothing can make you want to crawl in a corner and cry like you’ve been punched in the gut more than being asked if your 15yr old is full code just in case.