Profound Way Coaching

Profound Way Coaching Are you tired of feeling angry and bitter? Are you ready to let go of resentment? Learn how to forgive without neglecting your boundaries.

Profound Way Coaching offers 1:1 sessions and online courses.

Looking back, I can see there was a turning point in my healing.For a long time, I was focused on the past.Why did this ...
09/04/2026

Looking back, I can see there was a turning point in my healing.

For a long time, I was focused on the past.

Why did this happen?
Why did they hurt me?
Why couldn't things have been different?

Those questions never gave me the peace I was looking for.

Then my focus changed.

Instead of asking why, I started asking, "How do I move forward from here?"

In 12-step recovery, they call that being solution focused.

I love that phrase.

Or, in my own words...
"Stop wallowing in self-pity and get to work fixing yourself!" 😊

That doesn't mean ignoring the hurt.

It means deciding that my future deserves at least as much attention as my past.

For me, that's when healing became possible.

🍃 For a free eBook on releasing resentment:
https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

09/04/2026

I think this is one of the biggest misunderstandings about forgiveness.

You can forgive someone and still decide you don't want them in your life.

If I forgive you on Tuesday, that does not mean I'm inviting you over for dinner on Saturday.

Those are two completely different things.

Forgiveness means letting go of the resentment I'm carrying. Reconciliation means rebuilding a relationship.

And I don't have to do the second one just because I've chosen to do the first.

If someone has hurt me, I can forgive them and still keep my boundaries.

I can stop replaying what happened.
I can stop carrying the anger.
And I can still decide that having distance from that person is healthier for me.

That's not being bitter.

That's having a boundary.

09/03/2026

Here's another forgiveness myth I want to challenge:
Forgiving someone does not mean you're excusing what they did.

I hear this concern a lot. If I forgive them, aren't I letting them get away with it?

But here's the thing.

They already did what they did.

It's in the past.

Take something as simple as getting cut off in Los Angeles traffic. Someone cuts you off, and you're still stewing about it five minutes later.

Meanwhile, they're long gone.

They're not thinking about you. They're probably not thinking about your car. They may not even remember the incident happened.

But you're still carrying it.

That's the part I want you to notice.

When you let go of the resentment, you're not doing the other person a favor. You're not rewarding them. You're not saying what they did was okay.

You're deciding that you don't want to keep paying the emotional cost of something that's already over.

Forgiveness isn't about helping the person who hurt you.

Sometimes it's about finally giving yourself some room to breathe.

When I look back on that summer, I don't remember who won the argument.I remember what lasted.There were other disagreem...
09/02/2026

When I look back on that summer, I don't remember who won the argument.

I remember what lasted.

There were other disagreements after that one. More moments when my parents and I saw life differently. We were a family. That's what families do.

What I'm most grateful for is that we never let an argument become more important than our relationship.

Near the end of this story, I wrote:

"My father taught me, among many other valuable lessons, not to hold on to negativity, but to cherish the other person and the relationship I had with them."

That lesson has stayed with me far longer than the argument itself.

It's easy to replay what someone said in the heat of the moment.

It's much harder, and much more life-giving, to remember everything they gave us before and after that moment.

That's the kind of forgiveness I'm still practicing.

If you'd like to spend more time with these reflections, I'd love to welcome you here:
https://profoundwaycoaching.substack.com/about

09/02/2026

Forgiveness is not forgetting.

I'm going to straight-up call BS on the idea that forgiveness means "give and forget."

If someone has intentionally hurt you, I actually think it's important to remember what happened.

You can forgive someone without trusting them again.

You can let go of the resentment because you don't want to dread going to work every morning, while still deciding, I'm not having lunch with this person.

Those are not contradictions.

Forgiveness doesn't require you to erase your memory, ignore what happened, or give someone access to you again.

I want to remember what happened.

I just don't want what happened to keep hurting me emotionally every time I think about it. And I don't want the stress of carrying resentment to keep affecting my body and my life.

Forgiveness is about letting go of the ongoing emotional burden, not pretending the hurt never happened.

That's an important distinction.

If you're working through resentment, hurt, or forgiveness, I have a free guide that can help you start exploring it:

📖 https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

I've come to believe that every problem is supported by a belief.One belief I see over and over again is this:"If I let ...
09/01/2026

I've come to believe that every problem is supported by a belief.

One belief I see over and over again is this:
"If I let go, I'm saying what happened was okay."

No wonder forgiveness feels impossible if that's what we believe.

The truth is, I can forgive someone without approving of what they did.

I can release resentment without removing healthy boundaries.
I can stop carrying anger without pretending the hurt never happened.

Those are very different things.

When I change the belief, healing becomes possible.

Instead of saying, "If I forgive, I'm excusing them," I can tell myself:

"I'm letting go of my resentment, but what happened to me was not okay."

Or...

"I choose to release my anger and bitterness while maintaining a boundary with the person who hurt me."

Sometimes the belief keeping us stuck isn't true.
And changing that belief is the first step toward freedom.

🍃 Get your free eBook on releasing resentment:
https://profoundway.com/forgiveness-freebie-196407

One of the biggest myths about healing is that it's either happening or it isn't.I've found that's simply not true.Heali...
09/01/2026

One of the biggest myths about healing is that it's either happening or it isn't.

I've found that's simply not true.

Healing isn't binary.

It's not that one day you're overwhelmed by anger, sadness, or resentment, and the next day you've left it all behind forever.

In my own life, healing happened in stages.

When my 11-year marriage ended, it took about a year before I noticed a dramatic shift in my feelings toward my ex.

But I wasn't miserable that entire year.

The crying jags started becoming less frequent within a few weeks. By about eight months, they had stopped altogether.

That was healing, too.

I just couldn't see the whole picture yet.

I've watched many of my clients experience the same thing. They're often surprised by how quickly they begin feeling lighter, even though there's still more healing ahead.

That's the good news.

You don't have to wait until you've completely processed everything before you start feeling better.

Healing begins long before it's complete.

08/28/2026

This is a practice I find really interesting when you're trying to develop compassion for someone you don't particularly like.

Picture someone you love sitting on your right.

Now picture someone difficult sitting on your left.

Bring your awareness to both of them at the same time.

Then offer them the same compassion.

Not, May the person I love have a wonderful day and may that difficult person have a terrible one.
Not, May the person I love have a better day.

Just:

May they both have a good day today.

That's harder than it sounds.

Our minds naturally want to give more kindness to the people we like and less to the people who frustrate us.

This practice isn't asking you to pretend you like the difficult person. It's asking you to notice whether your compassion has conditions attached to it.

You can hold your boundaries and still wish someone well.

That's a very different thing from approving of everything they do.

If you'd like to explore more mindfulness and forgiveness practices with me, I share more here:

📖 https://profoundwaycoaching.substack.com/about

There are moments in life that seem small when they happen, but years later you realize they carried an entire relations...
08/27/2026

There are moments in life that seem small when they happen, but years later you realize they carried an entire relationship inside them.

The morning I left home, my father stood on the front porch with his arms crossed, trying to convince himself that anger would be easier than letting go.

My mother saw something different.

As I rolled down the window one last time before driving away, she leaned in and said,

"I give it three months before we come for a visit."

She knew my father better than I did.

She knew that beneath all his frustration was a love that would outlast his anger.

She was right.

That moment reminds me that sometimes the person who understands a relationship best isn't the one speaking the loudest. It's the one who quietly trusts that love will find its way back.

If you'd like to read the rest of this story, you'll find it here:
https://profoundwaycoaching.substack.com/about

08/27/2026

There's probably someone at work you just don't like.

Maybe it's the woman in accounting. 😂

I've used her as my example for years because I actually worked with someone like that back in the '80s. I really tried to like her.

I couldn't.

And you know what?

I don't have to like her.

I think we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to like everyone around us. We don't.

Some personalities clash. Some people rub us the wrong way. Sometimes you've genuinely tried, and the relationship still isn't going to happen.

That's okay.

The goal isn't to force yourself to feel warmth toward everyone.

The goal is to figure out how to coexist without letting your dislike turn into cruelty, resentment, gossip, or unfair treatment.

You can think, I don't like this person, and still treat them with respect.

That's a much more realistic kind of equanimity.

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