05/01/2026
It has been a hot minute since I have had some time for some real talk... Gosh life has just been cruising by and I have no idea how it is May already. As we have entered spring and a new season, I am personally experiencing my own new season. My littles are getting less little and my time has become to be more mine. Not that I do not absolutely love being a mama but in those early years parents more often than not becomes fully consumed in that role. We forget we are human beings too with our own identity. But as I am flowing from this season of being the center of my children's worlds to them sprouting and venturing off, there is a multitude of emotions. As excited, I am for my littles to be growing, discovering independence and curiosity, I am also feeling the grief. We often do not talk about grief as a positive thing or a time for growth but that is where I take it. I truly believe we need to honor and work through all that we go through both light and heavy.
Tuesdays have been "my day off" for me to do whatever my heart desires. Whether that is staying in bed all day, spend it in the kitchen, making visits or working on my business. On Tuesdays I have no rules or expectations of myself and I am so grateful I have this gift.
This past Tuesday I woke up and oddly felt the heaviness of grief and to be honest did not want to have any productiveness in my day. Which again for me is ok, I know there is value in rest. I got the littles up and ready for their day then scurried back to bed with my coffee. As I sat in thoughts, I wanted to find the roots of this grief. Was it "just" being less needed by my littles or was it deeper. I discovered that the grief is not only my littles growing up but a new season of life has approached. And yes, that may sound silly to have grief about that but that is where I was. New seasons are exciting and full of new opportunities and discoveries. So why be sad or have feelings of grief? Well because in order for a new season to emerge we must honor and end the season we have been in. The past 6 years have been a roller-coaster of becoming a mama and doing all the normal things plus having both of my littles experiencing medical journeys, moving twice with one being out of my home state ( only to the neighboring state but still) and I mean the list could go on and on. Just as many if not all of you can relate to; it all gets to be a lot even with the blessings.
So, as I was sitting there honoring and feeling the weight lift from the past 6 years, I also took time to reminisce about all of the beautiful moments. For me, this was both uplifting and sadness. How lucky I have been to live through and grow from all of these experiences but also how emotional to realize my babies are not babies. In this reminiscing, it also allowed me to honor that I have personally grown and changed. I am not who I was. Not the same as 6 years ago, not 4 years ago and not even 2 years ago. This whole time I have been growing and learning so much. Then came the realization that time has been both fleeting and frozen. With that realization I decided I needed to really honor this end of this season in a beautiful way and let go.
For me, that means creating something. I needed to channel all of that energy, both grief and uplifting and create something beautiful. I got out of bed and started working on a candle. At first, it was messy, had a lack of direction and not beautiful in my eyes. But I know when lean into the emotions, transfer the energy and hear my intuition more often times than not the end result to me is beautiful. And for me my art is not just about pleasing the eye. It is about provoking emotions, sparking thoughts and creating inspiration. To me it is beautiful inside and out. So, for a couple hours my focus remained on this candle and my emotions. From the colors to the plants to the stones and charms I used, I all did it thoughtfully and with intentionality. I took my grief from that morning and created a piece of art surrounded in calmness, love, connection and strength. I walked away from it feeling a little lighter and inspired to start this next season. I would be lying if I said all of the emotions evened out and that I wasn't a bit unsure of what this next season will take me.
But what I do know is I will have time to rediscover myself, grow my business and enjoy watching my littles become independent adventurers who in all reality will still need me. It will just be in new and different ways. The growing will continue for us all. And after all isn't that the point?
