06/13/2026
Life is full of twists and turns, its path often shrouded in the unknown. Trusting in the unseen is daunting, as there are no guarantees of stability or success. Faith can build you up or break you down; conversely, focusing only on what is "proven" may offer comfort, but at the expense of your belief. While tried-and-true methods deliver results, they often come at the cost of adventure, experimentation, and the creativity that makes life truly pleasurable.
Sarah and I walked a trail today, encountering these twists and turns in a literal sense. Our minds were scrambled, assuming the worst, feeling depleted, and losing faith in our direction. For the first time in years, I took out my mala beads. I began to simply offer thanks for what we do have: food, water, clothes, a bed at night, and the gift of being alive.
I recently stepped into a new chapter by launching a holistic wellness business dedicated to helping people discover their true selves. We often ask ourselves, "Is this what I'm supposed to do?" While the question seems simple, it is often posed in the most basic, functional ways—usually regarding our jobs, families, or social obligations.
Adhering to rigid structures is a draining pursuit. We are not robots or computers designed to execute rules perfectly every time. Sometimes we show up ready to perform, but more often, something feels "off."
Sometimes, the cause is simple, like hunger or thirst. Other times, it is physical pain, mental strain, or emotional burdens—things we try our damnedest to mask so we can press on.
I found myself struggling with each of these, eventually becoming empty and a husk of my former ambition. Teaching is a noble profession, but it demands immense sacrifice. Between years of higher education, mounting debt, endless hoops, double standards, ridicule, poor conditions, and hidden labor, I began to pour from an empty cup.
I lost my drive and my passion for music. I couldn’t connect with those around me. I knew something had to change.
The common refrain echoed in my mind: *“I can’t afford not to show up. I have mouths to feed, bills to pay, people who depend on me…”*
We suppress our needs for the sake of others and are told that doing so makes us strong. We are told to keep giving to prove our worth to the world. These phrases are often used to explain away what we call "temporary discomfort."
But when that discomfort persists for weeks, months, or years, you burn out. You become ill. You lose who you are.
Walking that trail with my mala beads and expressing gratitude—for food, water, clothes, a bed, and life itself—lifted my spirits. With 108 beads, I offered each of those five thanks individually, repeating the cycle for a total of 540 moments of gratitude. As you do this, your body begins to rewire from the negative to the positive, and you start to view the world in a different light. The rest of the day felt softer, lighter, and more optimistic. By sunset, we were able to connect with new people, and we could finally feel the difference in our own being.
