01/20/2013
So what keeps so many people from pursuing their calling?? It’s tempting to say that many haven’t discovered what they should do when they grow up, that they’re still searching and ignorant of what they are most gifted at doing. However, I would argue that this is generally not true.. Most men, I believe< are aware at some level---maybe one they’ve never articulated or dared to share with another person---of what they love and what they would do if they allowed themselves.. So what is the barrier???? What is the obstacle that looms like a large granite boulder across the path of their dreams??? To often, it’s FEAR, plain and simple.. Fear of risking, fear of failing, fear of changing, and fear of succeeding often imprison a man’s sense of calling so that he remains locked within himself(or herself)claustrophobic and contained. Certainly there are circumstances that hinder and drag us down and unravel the tapestry of our calling. However, the truly great ones, the men(or women) who are so aware of who they are and what they must do, find a way to persevere, to transform their circumstantial barriers into stepping stones for achieving their destiny. No, I believe the daily grind of surviving life and all the rocks thrown into our path only compound the fundamental fears of failure, of disappointment, and of loss. What if I risk all to start this new entrepreneurial adventure and lose all my savings??? What if I finally start writing and recording the songs that constantly stream into my mind and heart and no one wants to hear them??? What if I give my all to what I love to do and I never make it to the big leagues with it??? What if I this or what if I that??? Who will I be then?? Many ask themselves. “No one but a big loser,” they answer themselves.. But I disagree. For I think the real loser is the one who never attempts to fly at all with their wings. The one who never dares chisel the marble and release the beauty they see within themselves. The one who never launches the ship he or she spent their whole life building upon. The only real loser in life is the one who never risks challenging their mind and committing themselves wholeheartedly to the endeavors for which they were meant to. Part of fulfilling your calling is taking appropriate risks to maximize the potential of the gifts and talents with which you have. You have to understand this that playing it safe is not commendable, avoiding risks is not to be rewarded, and living out of fear of what others will think--- with their approval and disapproval--- should not be what motivates you. Many work so hard to excavate their identities from beneath the layers of pain and disappointment, from beneath the expectations of others and approval of loved ones, but then once they have a clear sense of who they are, they bury their treasure again. They bury themselves. But it is never too late. Our personal loss is not the only one suffered when we avoid fulfilling our calling or goals and bury ourselves or our talents. Everyone loses out when we don’t pursue our dreams. There’s a domino effect, a trickle-down effect of loss, in which everyone around us suffers because they are cheated of the greatness lying dormant inside their husband, their wife, father, son,brother, daughter, uncle, friend, etc etc. If you are a wife, mother, girlfriend reading this, realize that you also play a role in helping him pursue his dream and that you benefit when the men fulfill their purpose in life. It is an invaluable gift when a WOMAN BELIEVES in a MAN’S DREAMS. That is something that has somehow gotten lost in so many of them today. We all need someone who helps facilitate the dream inside, even if the facilitation of the dream is nothing more than a listening ear and a gleam in a watchful eye. Ladies, please remember that the torch that burns in a man’s soul is but a mere ember flickering in the wind.. Keep fanning the flame of his greatness, even if his ideas of success may be different from what you had in mind. MANIPULATION is not FACILITATION. A man tends to CHERISH forever a woman who helps him be all that he can be inside. He will also ultimately RESENT the one who DENIES HIM a chance at self-discovery. Ladies, this self-discovery may benefit you, but this is his challenge; if you love him, help him get there. Most men (especially those raised by strong mothers) define love by what their mothers did for them. No, I am not saying for you to mother him. I am only saying that you be to him what you are so good at being to your children---a strong resource of support and understanding. To those of us who are searching for the one thing, or in some cases several things(many of us have more than one dream, that gives them a sense of vitality and purpose, let me say this: a real man knows when he’s not living out his calling, not fulfilling his true identity, and not moving toward his heart’s destination. Whether you communicate your disappointment or concern overtly or implicitly, you know, and those around you know, that you’re not being true to who you wanna be. As a result, you often end up even more frustrated, angry, and eventually bitter that your life didn’t turn out the way you hoped and wanted it to go. I’ve seen these expressions on men at all ages and seasons of life. It crosses all lines of race, religion, age, culture, economics, and education. I’ve sat with teenaged boys who couldn’t imagine themselves as any bigger, any brighter, any better than what they saw in the hood around them. Their listless eyes shift downwards as they desperately long to believe that there’s something more to who they are and what they can do than what they’ve experienced so far. I’ve seen these looks of bitterness oozing out of the hard faces of well-educated, middle-aged men who have a beautiful home, a fat bank account, a prestigious job and title, but who are dying inside because it’s not what they were made for. I’ve seen healthy gentlemen die shortly after their big retirement, because all of a sudden they no longer have a sense of purpose, or they realize that they’ve wasted their years on the wrong pursuits. Yes, if you postpone your life’s purpose, you will wither and your heart will die. Men who bury their talents, who are not actively chasing their dreams, who put their lives on hold while days, weeks, months, and years pass them by, suffer an empty existence. They are simply not living life. Instead, they go through the motions, never getting anywhere, only getting bitter, disillusioned, and their dreams just wither away and die or never exist.
