08/10/2026
I hesitated to tell this story for a long time, mainly because I was embarrassed ๐ซฃ But the message is sweet and the lesson is powerful, and those eventually overcame my embarrassment.
In the not so distant past, I was driving home when (in true ADHD fashion), I remembered I was almost out of gas after I was already in the car. Iโd meant to stop on my way there.
I convinced myself I could make it to a station closer to home, and I almost did.
As I pulled onto the exit ramp, with a gas station only two blocks away, I felt my car begin to shut down.
I had run out of gas.
On the side of the road.
As a thirty-something, fully functioning adult. โOr maybe not so fully functioningโฆโ I thought.
I was mortified.
There was a man standing nearby with a sign, asking passing drivers for money. While I searched through my phone, debating whether to call my neighbor or my insurance company (and trying to decide which option felt less embarrassing), he walked over.
โDo you need help?โ
โIโm trying to figure it out,โ I replied.
He looked at my dashboard.
โYou outta gas?โ
โYeah, I think soโฆ. I thought Iโd make it, and Iโm really embarrassed.โ
He looked at me. No judgment. No lecture. Just another question:
โGot a gas can?โ
โNo. I didnโt think Iโd need one,โ I joked.
โItโs okay,โ he said. โIโll run up to the gas station and get you some gas.โ
I asked whether he had any money. He said he had six dollars.
I asked if he had a phone so I could Venmo him. He replied that he didnโt.
So I gave him the little cash I had and watched him walk toward the gas station. I crossed my fingers that he would come back. Somewhere inside me, I trusted that he would. So I didnโt make any calls. I just sat and waited.
About fifteen minutes later, he reappeared, carrying a gas can and a gallon of gas.
He watched me pop the gas tank open, and quietly funneled gas into my car.
As I watched him, I began to feel panicked. I didnโt have any more cash. I didnโt have my debit card to get money from an ATM. The only things of value I could find in my purse were a Target gift card and a Whole Foods gift card. โAt least these are worth a hell of a lot more than $6,โ I thought as I pulled them out.
I offered them to him, thanking him over and over and hoping they might help.
He accepted them, thanked me, then looked me directly in the eyes, and said:
โNot all of us are as****es, you know.โ
โI never thought you were,โ I replied.
He smiled and walked away.
As I drove past him, something hit me: I never asked what HE wanted.
Did he want the blanket that was in the back of my car? Did he need something to eat? Or clean water?
In my panic, it hadnโt occurred to me that I could simply use my credit card, buy him something, and bring it back.
I tried calling out to him several times through my open window, but he couldnโt hear me over the traffic. The light changed, and I had to move.
I filled my tank and drove to one of the only nearby restaurants still open. I bought him a meal and a bottle of water, then returned to where he had been standing.
It had only been about 10 minutes, but he was gone.
I got back on the freeway, turned around at the next exit, and searched the surrounding streets and ramps. But I never found him.
Tears streamed down my face on the drive home.
Not only because of the extraordinary kindness he had shown me, but also because I realized how quickly I had decided what would help him without ever asking what he actually needed.
Maybe a $12 meal would have meant more to him than a $50 gift card. Maybe it wouldnโt have. Iโll never know.
But I have carried the lesson with me ever since.
We do this in so many parts of our lives.
We try to solve a clientโs problem before fully understanding it.
We offer advice when a friend might only need someone to sit beside them.
We give what makes sense to us instead of pausing long enough to understand what would feel supportive to the other person.
Our intentions may be beautiful, but our assumptions can still get in the way.
Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is ask:
โWhat do you need right now?โ
And then stop talking long enough to truly hear the answer.
I will never forget that man. A man who appeared to have so little, yet gave so freely. Without hesitation, without judgment, and without asking what he would receive in return.
And I will never forget the lesson he gifted me ๐
