08/14/2026
This is so important 🙏🏼💙✨
We often treat a child's desire to explain themselves during a difficult conversation as an act of direct defiance or talking back.
When a disruption happens under our roof, our automatic adult reflex is to execute immediate discipline based entirely on what we saw from across the room. We treat our own perspective as the absolute, objective truth.
If a child tries to open their mouth to say, "But that's not what happened," we are quick to shut them down, demanding compliance because we assume that listening to their version will somehow weaken our authority.
But two people can stand in the exact same room, experience the same friction, and walk away with two completely different realities.
A lack of bad intention on one part does not mean the wound didn't actively happen on the other.
We might think we issued a calm, necessary correction, but through the child's lens, the moment might have felt isolating, or unfair.
When we refuse to let them articulate how a moment actually landed, we create a dangerous internal mismatch. We force them to override their own senses and believe that what they felt wasn't real, which erodes their ability to trust their own intuition.
Listening to their side isn't about letting them “win”, or prove us wrong. It is about protecting their grip on their own reality. Once they feel entirely safe to voice their perspective without the fear of immediate dismissal, something incredible happens to the room: the defenses drop on both sides.
When you don't force them to fight to defend their reality, a genuine conversation can actually take place. You can gently explain your thoughts, allowing them to look at the situation and say, "Oh, I see it now."
But just as often, they will hand you a piece of the puzzle you completely missed from across the room — allowing you to look through their eyes, soften your stance, and realize, "Oh. I see it now, too."
True guidance means navigating a conflict together, not forcing a submission.
By honoring their voice while calmly offering your view, you teach them that their feelings are entirely valid — but also, that there is always room for us to learn, evolve, and see a bigger picture. ❤️
