10/31/2015
I am glad to read this article. Barbara Ehrenreich wrote a book on this topic a few years ago.
The problem isn't with self-love. It's with "Law of Attraction" kind of thinking. Real self love means to stop blaming ourselves for the particular ways that our dysfunctional system has affected our lives.
It is knowing exactly when we can sit in the fire of our authentic feelings and knowing when we need to numb out and seek comfort because we've had enough.
I have gotten to the point in my life where I see the notion of personal-growth-as-the-end-all-be-all solution to all of our problems to be misguided and problematic. It is not enough for most people just to "follow your bliss".
Different people need different sorts of help. It's the Maslow's Hierarchy thing. You don't help poor people by insisting that they get their psychological house in order. We might just find that if they have reliable food and shelter, that they may end up being healthier psychologically than we are. It is condescending BS to assume that they are not the badasses that they are for simply surviving when everything is stacked against them. It is completely probable that the teaching directional should be from the poor to the privileged, rather than the other way around. We certainly need to take them at their word when they tell us that BS platitudes are humiliating and counter-productive. It is appropriate that poor people are angry. The rest of us should be angry too.
For me, my relative privilege means that personal growth must be turned toward activism and assisting others' healing. Otherwise it feels empty to me. For others (and for myself at an earlier point in my life), personal growth for its own sake is exactly what they need to be doing. For others, simply having compassion and respect for themselves while they are in survival mode is the only helpful psychological prop.
The burden of changing society to meet human needs should not just be on the poor. But in reality, the bubble of privilege and comfort keep many more resourced people from really seeing how thoroughly messed up things are. And if we convince relatively resourced people further that their responsibility is only to their own happiness, that they should shut out negativity, then we are hurting more than we are helping.
Sometimes when we are recovering or ill or otherwise need to conserve resources, self-centeredness is appropriate. But as a long-term life strategy, it is really pretty anti-growth and counter-productive for creating a better world.
As far as I am concerned positive thinking will fu***ng ruin your life.