05/19/2026
When romantic relationships get stuck in a pattern of conflict, it can be tricky to keep communication open, productive, and non-defensive. Learn about your tendencies in conflict: Do you shut down? Defend? Criticize? If your automatic reaction is to criticize your partner or defend yourself, PAUSE. Ask for a time-out. Slow down and ground yourself before you engage. Try sharing something vulnerable (“I miss us.”) instead of criticizing (“You never make time for me.”). Instead of defending, try saying, “Help me understand how/why this hurts you…how can I do better?”) Trying these questions and phrases can help you communicate true interest in your partner and in finding common ground—instead of winning!