10/13/2026
Sitting in my car trying not to cry.
We had such a beautiful morning. Playing catch in the front yard, listening to Lady Gaga, laughing. Everything was fine. And then on the way to school, something switched.
I don’t know what triggered it. My 7 year old autistic son got stuck in a mental loop and started screaming. I tried to keep him calm, keep my daughter calm, keep myself calm.
By the time we got to school he was completely dysregulated. He started scratching me, biting me, kicking me. He was kicking and scratching his aide, too. Hard.
I have bite marks on my arms, scratches on my neck and face. And I’m sitting here wondering what the hell just happened.
The hardest part is not knowing why.
Was it something I said? Something he was thinking? Is he getting sick? Because every single time this boy gets sick, it’s like we lose so much progress overnight.
And sometimes, in the middle of all this, he’ll scream, “Hug Mommy!”
So I go to hug him.
And he bites me. Hard.
And my heart just breaks.
Because I know he’s not trying to hurt me. I know something is happening inside his little body and brain that he can’t communicate or control in that moment.
But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
It’s the whiplash of it all. One minute we’re laughing and dancing to Lady Gaga, and the next I’m being physically attacked by the little boy I love more than life itself. And then I have to get back in my car, pull myself together, and somehow go about my day.
some days, this is what autism parenting looks like for us.
I love my son more than anything in this world.
And sometimes this is really, really fu***ng hard.
Both things are true.