06/15/2026
Here’s who this advice is NOT for: those of you who are laying with kids to support them to sleep and are either not returning to them in the night after that OR those of you who are and don’t mind.
Here’s who this IS for: those of you who have never understood sleep associations OR those who have never put together the way your child falls asleep and their middle of the night waking.
I’m NOT saying you have to stop this immediately.
I’m NOT saying it’s a bad habit.
I’m NOT saying this is the issue for every kid.
But for MY hypervigilant, highly sensitive to change, scared to be alone child - this is ultimately what helped.
Rather than only finding safety in my presence, we had to rewire his body to find safety in separation.
We started small. I would pretend I forgot my water in the hallway and nonchalantly go grab it after tuck-in while he waited. Baby step.
Then, l’d ask him to complete a small task (such as sing a lullaby or tuck in a stuffy) while I stepped out for a slightly longer reason.
As his body began to see he could exist safely in his sleep space without me there, I began to slowly create some physical space between us after some snuggles so he fell asleep untouched.
Eventually, I worked up to stepping out of the room for longer tasks while he listened to an audiobook and shifted to check-ins...with some much enjoyed (by both of us!) snuggles.
And slowly but surely... he began to relax. And trust himself. And see that he was safe even when I wasn’t there. He could listen to a book or hold his stuffy or sing to himself. He had tools in his toolbox.
And it changed everything.
We never made him cry it out. We never bribed him with sticker charts. We built confidence - brick by brick.
And I’ve helped thousands of families do the same thing ever since.
Need a guide here? I got you. 1-1s can be booked in my bio and be sure you’re following Allison Ezell | Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, M.Ed.
