08/18/2026
The Lindsay Clancy trial has me thinking about a mama I met years ago.
Postpartum mental illness is very real. Postpartum depression is real. Postpartum psychosis is real. And sometimes a mother can experience thoughts so frightening that she is terrified of what her own mind is telling her.
These aren’t necessarily mamas who want to kill their babies. Sometimes they are mamas who are terrified of thoughts they can’t control & desperately need someone to recognize that they need help.
A few years ago, I got to experience the heartbreaking reality of this firsthand.
A new client came to my spa. At the time, I was offering free childcare during services ~ my girls would watch clients’ children while the mamas had a little time to themselves.
This particular mama brought her two little ones with her. They were something like 2 & 4 years old, and they were absolutely adorable.
She had her service while my girls played with her babies & before she left, she scheduled another service for the very next day.
Day two, she came back. Again, she had her service while my girls watched her babies.
Then on day three, I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to call her & see how she was doing. I don’t call clients after services very often, so I give the glory to God for that call…
Her answer was:
“Not very well.”
My heart dropped. I immediately thought something had gone wrong with one of her services.
I asked her about it.
She said, “No.”
Then she said words I will never forget:
“𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝑰’𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒔.”
Whoa.
I had known this woman for 48 hours.
But there wasn’t even a question in my mind about what came next.
“𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆.”
And she did.
She told me she had already been struggling with postpartum depression back home. Her husband was in the military & was being deployed, so they thought moving her & the children to live near his parents would give her the support she desperately needed.
Instead, it did the opposite.
She had left her entire life & support system behind. She felt isolated. She felt alone. And the help with the children that they had expected simply wasn’t happening.
She was 𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈.
And somehow, two women who had been complete strangers only 48 hours earlier found ourselves standing together trying to protect two little babies.
She leaned into me.
And I helped hold her up while she worked on healing herself.
I was able to contact the military & tell them what was happening. I worked with them & with her to help care for those babies until arrangements could be made for her husband to return home from his deployment.
I think about that experience whenever I hear people talk about mothers experiencing severe postpartum mental illness as though they are simply monsters who wanted to hurt their children.
Because I watched something very different happen.
This mama loved her babies enough to say the terrifying thing out loud.
She knew something was happening inside her that frightened her & instead of hiding it because she was ashamed or afraid of how someone might judge her, she told me.
And I believed her.
I didn’t shame her.
I didn’t tell her what a horrible mother she was.
I didn’t assume somebody else would deal with it.
I said, “𝑩𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔.”
It is entirely possible that the two of us saved those babies’ lives that summer.
Her, because she was brave enough to speak aloud the battle happening inside her.
Me, because when she did, I didn’t hesitate to help her.
And I think there is something incredibly important in that.
A mother saying, “I’m afraid I might hurt my baby,” is not necessarily a mother telling you she doesn’t love her child.
Sometimes it is a mother desperately sounding the alarm because she loves her child & knows she needs help.
We have to make it safe for mothers to sound that alarm.
We have to stop making women so afraid of being judged, condemned, or having their babies ripped away from them that they hide what is happening until there is a tragedy.
And when a mama is brave enough to whisper… or scream…
“Something is wrong. I’m scared of what I might do.”
Someone needs to hear her.
Someone needs to believe her.
Someone needs to step in.
Because sometimes protecting babies means protecting & supporting their mama, too.
And sometimes two women who barely know each other can stand in the gap long enough for a family to make it through.
I will never forget that mama.
I will never forget those babies.
I will never forget that she said the terrifying thing out loud before it was too late.
And I will never forget the Holy Spirit prompting me to reach out & create a safe space for His Will to be done. 🙏🏼
And maybe that’s part of why the Lindsay Clancy case sits so heavily with me.
Three precious children lost their lives & nothing about postpartum mental illness diminishes the magnitude of that loss. Those babies matter. Their lives matter.
But I also believe we can grieve those children while asking difficult questions about what was happening inside their mother’s mind.
Compassion for a profoundly ill mother does not require us to care any less about her children.
If anything, stories like this should make us care more fiercely about all of them ~ the babies who need to be protected & the mothers who may desperately need someone to recognize that they’re drowning before the unthinkable happens.
But there is another reason this particular case won’t leave me alone.
As a former law enforcement officer, there are aspects of the investigation that leave me with serious questions.
And as a woman who has personally experienced manipulation severe enough that I began questioning my own perception of reality, there are things about this case that set off alarm bells for me for an entirely different reason.
To be very clear: I am not accusing Lindsay’s husband of killing their children. I don’t know what happened inside that home, and neither does anyone who wasn’t there.
But I do have questions about whether alternative possibilities were adequately investigated & whether everyone surrounding Lindsay received the level of scrutiny that a case this serious deserved.
Those are not the same thing as declaring someone guilty.
They are questions.
And in a case where three children are dead & their mother is facing the possibility of spending the rest of her life in prison, I think we should be willing to ask uncomfortable questions ~ even about the narrative everyone thinks they already understand.
But that’s a post for another day…
POSTPARTUM & MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES
If you are afraid you may hurt yourself or your children, please tell someone immediately & get yourself & your babies somewhere safe. If you’re local & you’re scared to make that first call alone, reach out to me. I’ll sit beside you while we make it together. You do not have to face those thoughts alone 🤍
🤍 National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
Call or text: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
Free, confidential support 24/7 for pregnant & postpartum mamas and their families.
🤍 Postpartum Support International (PSI) HelpLine
Call: 1-800-944-4773
Text “HELP” to 800-944-4773
Provides support, information & connections to postpartum mental health resources. This is not an emergency/crisis line.
🤍 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text: 988
Free & confidential crisis support available 24/7.
🤍 Crisis Text Line
Text “HOME” to 741741
