Hilary Goulding, LMFT

Hilary Goulding, LMFT Hi, I'm Hilary! I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

I help women, teens, and couples and am accepting new clients in-person and virtually at my Denver office and virtually in CA.

06/05/2026

Me: I’ve done a lot of work on my perfectionism.

Also me: I’d be so laid-back if everyone would just do things correctly.

06/05/2026

Motherhood comes with its own language.

The mental load.
The guilt.
The “I haven’t slept in months but somehow I’m functioning” stories.
The breastfeeding baby who decides they need you the second therapy starts.

One of the things I hear most from moms is how relieving it feels to not have to explain every detail before being understood.

You don’t need to convince me that you’re exhausted.
You don’t need to justify needing a break.
You don’t need to apologize when your kid interrupts the session.

Sometimes healing starts with feeling genuinely understood.

❤️ Moms, what’s something you wish people understood better about motherhood?

06/04/2026

If anxious thoughts seem to hit the second your head hits the pillow, here’s what I want you to remember:

Just because a thought feels urgent doesn’t mean it needs your attention right now.

When anxiety shows up at night, try this:

1. Ask yourself: Is this something I need to do right now? Usually… no. Most nighttime worries aren’t action problems.

2. Don’t try to solve problems or answer uncertainty questions in bed. Your tired brain will convince you that if you think long enough, you’ll finally feel certain. (Spoiler: anxiety usually just asks for another answer after that.)

3. Get out of your head and into your body. You can’t always think your way out of anxiety but you can help your nervous system settle.

A few grounding ideas for nighttime:

✨ Name 5 things you can feel right now (blanket, pillow, cool air, etc.)

✨ Hold something warm (tea, heating pad, mug) and focus only on the sensation

✨ Try progressive muscle relaxation: tense and release each muscle group from toes to head

✨ Take slow breaths and make your exhale longer than your inhale

✨ Place one hand on your chest and one on your stomach and notice the movement of your breath

You do not need to solve tomorrow from your bed tonight 🤍

06/02/2026

Why does anxiety always seem to get louder at night?

Because during the day, you’re busy doing. At night, you’re finally left alone with your thoughts.

For moms especially, bedtime is often the first moment all day that things get quiet enough for your brain to catch up with everything it’s been carrying.

So if your mind starts spiraling the second your head hits the pillow, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It may mean you’ve been holding a lot all day long.

The good news? There are things you can do to help.

Part 2 is coming next. 👀

💬 Tell me: Are you a nighttime overthinker?

10/13/2025

Working on saying no? Here are your go to’s:

✨ “I don’t have capacity for that right now.”

✨ “That’s not going to work for me.”

✨ “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’ll pass.”

✨ “Let me get back to you.” (Buys time and peace of mind.)

Saying no can be kind and clear — both things can be true 💛

Here’s what the overthinking loop usually sounds like:“I just want to make the right choice.”“If I think about it a litt...
10/12/2025

Here’s what the overthinking loop usually sounds like:

“I just want to make the right choice.”
“If I think about it a little more, I’ll feel better.”
“What if I miss something important?”

Your brain’s trying to help you. It believes that by thinking harder, it can keep you safe.
The problem? You get stuck in the spin — analyzing instead of living.

Therapist tip:
🪞 Overthinking isn’t a thinking problem — it’s an emotional regulation problem.
Your brain is searching for safety.
So instead of adding more thinking, try more calming.

Start small:
💭 Say, “This is my anxiety talking.”
🌿 Do something grounding (walk, breathe, stretch).
📓 Then ask yourself: “What’s actually in my control right now?”

Each time you do, you’re teaching your nervous system that safety doesn’t come from perfect answers — it comes from presence.

✨ Want more therapist-backed tools to help you quiet your mind?
I shared my go-to methods in my newest blog: How to Stop Overthinking.
(Link in bio)

10/10/2025

Progress, not perfection. But also… close the pantry door. 🤣

Anyone else’s partner and/or kids leave every door, drawer and cabinet open? 🫠

You’re doing everything right — eating well, getting enough sleep (mostly), staying active… so why do you still feel so ...
10/08/2025

You’re doing everything right — eating well, getting enough sleep (mostly), staying active… so why do you still feel so tired?

Sometimes exhaustion isn’t about what you’re doing — it’s about what’s weighing on you.

Here are a few sneaky drains on your energy you might not realize:

✨ Emotional labor: Managing everyone’s feelings, smoothing over tension, keeping things running — it’s invisible work, but it’s work.

🧠 Mental overload: Constant decision-making and overthinking leave your brain no space to rest.

💬 Self-criticism: That inner voice telling you to “do more” or “be better” quietly chips away at your energy.

⏰ Chronic productivity: Even your “rest” time has a goal attached — and that keeps your nervous system on alert.

Sometimes what you need isn’t more sleep — it’s more permission to slow down.
Because you deserve rest that actually restores you, not just sleep that keeps you going.

If you’re a high-achieving mom, you probably know this feeling: your body just doesn’t shut off. Even when life looks go...
09/27/2025

If you’re a high-achieving mom, you probably know this feeling: your body just doesn’t shut off. Even when life looks good on the outside, inside you’re running on high alert.

👉 Your nervous system has gotten stuck in survival mode. The first step isn’t forcing yourself to “just relax.” It’s teaching your body little by little that it’s safe to slow down—like noticing your feet on the floor, taking a few deeper breaths, or letting yourself fully enjoy one small moment without multitasking. Over time, these micro-reminders help your nervous system trust that it’s okay to come out of overdrive. 💛

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Greenwood Village, CO
80111

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