12/12/2025
What grieving parents wish we could shout from the mountaintop… but don’t always have the strength for:
• Say our child’s name. Yup—random Tuesday, mid-conversation, whenever. It won’t “remind” us… we’re already thinking about them 24/7.
• Don’t let the good hair day fool you—just because we carry it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.
• We shouldn’t have to keep bringing our child up. Trust me, we’re praying you’d remember on your own.
• Time doesn’t “heal” this. Every day is still a climb. Some days we make it to the top, some days we’re on our knees.
• Acknowledge the pain. Don’t dance around it like it’s Voldemort.
• Memories? They hit like waves—beautiful, brutal, and nonstop.
• Watching kids their age grow up, graduate, get married? Yeah… that one goes straight to the soul.
• Tears aren’t weakness—they’re pressure valves. Let them fall.
• Sometimes we don’t want advice, speeches, or silver linings. Just sit with us. Hold us. Breathe with us.
• It takes exactly one second to snap back to the worst moment of our lives. Trauma doesn’t tell time.
• Flashbacks? Relentless. Random. Rude.
• We are not the same people. That version of us is gone—and we grieve them too.
• Please check on us. We may not reach out, even when we’re drowning.
• The sadness isn’t seasonal. It’s daily. It’s forever woven into us.
• Invite us even if we don’t show up. It’s about feeling included, not pressured.
• We crave connection with parents who “get it.” There’s a language you only learn when you’ve buried a piece of your heart.
• Yes, we keep their things. They’re pieces of sacred ground—hands off the decluttering talk.
• Holidays? Beautiful and brutal at the same time. Handle with care.
• We need love and friendship, even though we might falter at returning the energy. Grief rewires your whole operating system.
• The guilt? It sneaks up like a thief. Some days it gets too heavy to carry alone.
• We live in two worlds now—one foot here, one foot in heaven. We’re doing the impossible every single day.
• And no—unless you’ve walked this exact fire, you can’t fully understand. We don’t want you to… we just need you to respect that truth.
💜🙏💜
~tanyamariecurtis
