06/02/2026
Hmmm 🧐 What do you know about these? What does your inner guide tell you?
8 Trainable Longevity Markers That Extend Your Life, part 6
From: 8 Trainable Longevity Markers That Extend Your Life | Super Age
https://superage.com/8-trainable-longevity-markers-that-extend-your-life/
Slightly edited [comments]
A long read; totally worth it.
"Longevity is trainable if you know where to focus your efforts.
Here are the elite eight longevity markers:
* . . VO2 Max
* . . Grip Strength
* . . Balance
* . . Agility
* . . Working Memory
* . . Relational Capacity
* . . Functional Strength
* . . Endurance Under Load
> What Is Relational Capacity?
"Being a 'lone wolf' sounds great, but relationships are key to healthy aging.
Your relational capacity is a measure of your ability to build and maintain relationships based on trust.
"There are two kinds of trust that are key to this capacity, says Taylor Nicole West, Ph.D., a postdoctoral researcher at the University of North Carolina:
> Trust in society in general
> And interpersonal trust with people you know.
These two types of trust, she says, feed into one another.
"People with a healthy relational capacity score high on measures of 'social integration,' as well as psychology scales of having 'positive relations with others.'
> Why Relational Capacity Matters for Longevity and Healthspan
"People with close ties and good friends have a 19 percent lower risk of stroke,
and a 24 percent reduced risk of early death.
They're less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety.
They're less likely to die of cardiovascular disease.
They have lower levels of chronic inflammation.
"And those with high levels of social support are actually aging more slowly than people without the support.
A 2015 follow-up meta-analysis covering more than 3.4 million people confirmed that loneliness raises mortality risk by 26 percent, social isolation by 29 percent, and living alone by 32 percent, an effect that exceeds the mortality risk of obesity."
[Being alone is more lethal than being obese.]
"Trust matters, too:
People who have more trust (not just in those they know, but in society at large) feel better and are more satisfied with their lives than people who feel less trust.
"Your relational capacity can also impact your physical well-being as you age: People who score higher on tests of 'positive relations with others' are less likely to die, but they're also less likely to experience functional limits.
> How to Test your Relational Capacity
"Give yourself this seven-question survey.
It's based on the 'positive relations with others' scale, from the Ryff scale, a widely used measure of psychological well-being.
"People who score high on 'positive relations with others' have warm, trusting, satisfying relationships with others.
They understand the give and take of human relationships.
And they're capable of strong empathy and affection.
"The questionnaire (Rate each statement on a scale of 1-6, where 1 is 'strongly disagree,' and 6 is 'strongly agree'):
* . . People would describe me as a giving person, willing to share my time with others.
* . . Most people see me as loving and affectionate.
* . . I enjoy personal and mutual conversations with family members and friends.
* . . I know I can trust my friends, and they know they can trust me.
* . . Maintaining close relationships has been easy and rewarding for me.
* . . I have plenty of close friends I can share my concerns with.
* . . I have experienced many warm and trusting relationships with others.
"Scoring: Add up your answers. Your total will fall between 7 and 42.
* . . 35–42: Strong relational capacity
* . . 25–34: Solid, with room to deepen
* . . 17–24: Worth focusing on. Small shifts can make a real difference
* . . 7–16: This is a good area to invest in
> How to Improve Your Relational Capacity
Here are four simple strategies to strengthen your relationships and improve your trust in others (and their trust in you) from West and another friendship scientist, Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at the University of Kansas.
1. Don't fall for inertia. Contact people you know and trust regularly: A lot's been said about how only in-person reactions make us less lonely, and digital touchpoints don't count. But that's not really true, Hall says. A decade ago, when Facebook was a way to know what was going on in acquaintances' and close friends' lives, even if you didn't interact with them, there was utility for our social well-being.
In the algorithm driven social world, that's gone. So you've got to be intentional, he says. If you're in a group chat with people, participate in that group chat. If you're thinking of an old friend, drop them a quick message. And for people you're closest with, make sure you're touching base at least once per week, even if it's just to say hi or send a funny meme.
2. Build societal trust by talking to people: Trust has eroded in the U.S. In a 2018 survey by Pew, only 34 percent of Americans said "most people can be trusted"; in 1972, 46 percent of people in the U.S. thought so. Compare that to our northern neighbor: More than half of Canadians say most people can be trusted.
In her research, West has found that when we don't trust our community, we're less likely to have quality social interactions when we're out in the world. But when we make ourselves have interactions, by talking to more people, we can improve our trust in our community, and in people in general.
West's prescription: Send yourself on new people-talking scavenger hunts. In the next week, choose a type of person you'll start conversations with—someone in a fun shirt, a person walking a dog, or or someone doing an activity you want to learn more about—and try to strike up a few conversations with these types of people when you're out in public.
Piling up these types of interactions, she says, can have a cumulative effect on your trust in others, and make you more likely to have a greater relational capacity.
3. Deepen connections with "Fast Friends" questions: In a study she's working on now, West had people deepen overall trust by deepening their relationships with people they already care about. To do so, she had them use parts of a psychological protocol called "Fast Friends," a series of questionsdesigned to enhance closeness. Some of these are fun, like "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" Others are more probing, like "when was the last time you cried in front of another person?"
To make these work, West suggests starting with some of the easier questions, and also starting by sharing something yourself. When meeting up or even texting with a close friend, family member, or acquaintance, offer up an answer to one of these yourself (like how you'd love to have dinner with Arnold Schwarzenegger) and then ask them to chime in.
Asking and answering a few of these types of exercises each week can deepen your trust in that relationship, and also improve your overall trust, she says.
4. Switch up the context of relationships to deepen relationships: If you want to become better friends with someone who's a new friend or a close acquaintance, Hall says, try changing up the context or venue of the relationship. For example, if you're in a group chat with your fantasy football league, and you'd like to become closer friends with one of the members, ask them to do something in a different venue, like watching a game at a club, or even just text them off-list.
"That signals to the other person, 'I'm picking you out of a group of others to talk to, because I prefer you to these other people,'" he says. "That's actually what friendship is at some level. It's a recognition of mutual preference for one another compared to other people."
"Here are four simple strategies to strengthen your relationships and improve your trust in others (and their trust in you) from West and another friendship scientist, Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at the University of Kansas.
1. "Don't fall for inertia.
Contact people you know and trust regularly.
A lot's been said about how only in-person reactions make us less lonely, and digital touchpoints don't count.
But that's not really true, Hall says.
You've got to be intentional, he says.
If you're in a group chat with people, participate in that group chat.
If you're thinking of an old friend, drop them a quick message.
And for people you're closest with, make sure you're touching base at least once per week, even if it's just to say hi or send a funny meme."
[I send cards to 300 friends sometime between winter holidays and Valentine's Day. Every year. Hand-addressed envelope. Short note. Signed card. Connect.]
2. "Build societal trust by talking to people.
Trust has eroded in the U.S.
In a 2018 survey, only 34 percent of Americans said 'most people can be trusted.'
In 1972, 46 percent of people in the U.S. thought so.
Compare that to our northern neighbor:
More than half of Canadians say most people can be trusted.
In her research, West has found that when we don't trust our community, we're less likely to have quality social interactions when we're out in the world.
But when we make ourselves have interactions, by talking to more people, we can improve our trust in our community, and in people in general.
"West's prescription: Send yourself on new people-talking scavenger hunts.
In the next week, choose a type of person you'll start conversations with—someone in a fun shirt, a person walking a dog, or or someone doing an activity you want to learn more about—and try to strike up a few conversations with these types of people when you're out in public.
"Piling up these types of interactions, she says, can have a cumulative effect on your trust in others, and make you more likely to have a greater relational capacity."
[Living in Manhattan for six weeks in 2019, walking the mile to my radiation treatment (and back) on weekdays, I made eye-contact with and smiled at the school crossing guards, of which there were many. Within a few days, they smiled back, recognized me. I never spoke a word to them, never knew anything about them, but they were wonderful new friends through a difficult stretch. I felt accepted, enjoyed, even loved.]
3. "Deepen connections with 'Fast Friends' questions.
In a study she's working on now, West had people deepen overall trust by deepening their relationships with people they already care about.
To do so, she had them use parts of a psychological protocol called 'Fast Friends,' a series of questions designed to enhance closeness.
Some of these are fun, like 'Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?'
Others are more probing, like 'when was the last time you cried in front of another person?'
To make these work, West suggests starting with some of the easier questions, and also starting by sharing something yourself.
When meeting up or even texting with a close friend, family member, or acquaintance, offer up an answer to one of these yourself (like how you'd love to have dinner with Arnold Schwarzenegger) and then ask them to chime in.
Asking and answering a few of these types of exercises each week can deepen your trust in that relationship, and also improve your overall trust, she says."
[Be a better listener. We ache to be heard. Hear what is said to you. Suspending judgement seems right, but sometimes a friend wants our "take" on an issue. See your opinion as valuable, but refrain from giving advice. And if you do, be prepared to be ignored. Keep a smile in your heart. Sympathy goes a long way in creating friendship.]
"Make new friends,
But keep the old.
One is silver
And the other gold."
Girl Scout song
4. "Switch up the context of relationships to deepen relationships.
If you want to become better friends with someone who's a new friend or a close acquaintance, Hall says, try changing up the context or venue of the relationship.
For example, if you're in a group chat with your fantasy football league, and you'd like to become closer friends with one of the members, ask them to do something in a different venue, like watching a game at a club, or even just text them off-list.
'That signals to the other person, "I'm picking you out of a group of others to talk to, because I prefer you to these other people," ' he says. 'That's actually what friendship is at some level. It's a recognition of mutual preference for one another compared to other people.' "
[Invite a friend to walk with you. Ask an acquaintance for help with something you really can do, so hearing "no" is easier. Benjamin Franklin believed that asking for a favor was a better way to create a friendship than giving a gift. I see asking for help as a "gift of vulnerability and need." And we want to be needed. If you want to connect with someone, be persistent. Throw away your "attitude." Everyone is too busy; it's not you; it's their — bad word — responsibilities.].
You are beautiful.
Beauty all around us.
You are part of the great giveaway dance.
Give yourself away with every breath.
Every breath a gift from the plants.
Sink into the earth.
Your heart beats as one with the heartbeat of the earth.
You are surrounded by green blessings.
Gratitude
Joy
