08/25/2026
I think I may have misunderstood self-trust.
I think I’ve had this idea that trusting myself meant being certain about what I want and confident about whatever I decide to do next. Like somehow, if I really trusted myself, there wouldn’t be all these other voices in the room questioning things or feeling scared.
But something I’ve learned through Internal Family Systems is how human it is to have different parts of ourselves wanting different things. There can be tension. Two things can be true at the same time.
And I’m starting to wonder if self-trust isn’t about making that tension go away. Maybe there’s room for all of it, and I can still listen for that quieter inner knowing about what feels right for me now.
Yesterday gave me such a small, ordinary example of this.
I’m in Bali, and I spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing. There was a part of me thinking, You’re in Bali. Go somewhere. Do something. There are so many things you could be experiencing. And there was another part of me that was tired and perfectly content to lie there.
Normally, I might have thought I needed to figure out which voice was right. Instead, I noticed them both, and underneath all that chatter, something in me knew I needed rest. So I rested.
It’s such an ordinary thing, but maybe this is what practicing self-trust looks like in an ordinary life. I can still experience uncertainty, fear or conflicting desires without needing any of them to disappear before I move forward.
There’s another layer to this for me, and it’s my faith.
When I look back over my life, I’m very clear that God has been with me. Even through choices that, looking back, probably weren’t very good for me, somehow I’ve been okay. I’ve learned things I couldn’t have learned without living through them, and I’ve gained wisdom that only comes from having actually lived.
Maybe part of trusting myself now is trusting that I don’t have to get everything right. Sometimes I’ll make a choice and later realize it didn’t work. I might change my mind, make an adjustment or discover something I couldn’t have known until I experienced it.
And somehow, I’ll still be okay.
I don’t think I have a neat conclusion about self-trust anymore. Actually, I think I have more questions than I did before.
And right now, I’m okay with that.
Starting From Now, I’m sitting with this question: What does it look like to trust myself in the life I’m actually living?
Not once I have it all figured out. Right here, with all of it.
Ps. This pic is from my breakfast. A fruit
salad and it’s sooo good!!!
