Erin Steele

Erin Steele Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT 130429) offering individual and relationship counseling

08/31/2026

For years, I thought staying safe meant staying agreeable.

I was the people pleaser. The diplomat. The one who didn’t say what she wanted or needed, because many times, I didn’t even know what I wanted or needed.

And underneath all of it? I was my own harshest critic.

Then, in 2011, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

My body rebelled in ways I didn’t know were possible, and suddenly, I couldn’t keep ignoring the way I was treating myself.

Somewhere along the way, I had learned: I don’t matter.

So why speak up? Why disagree? Why make waves? Why say something when something doesn’t feel good?

Changing that didn’t happen overnight.

I started journaling every day in 2012. And DANG. I had no idea how much anger I was carrying.

That became the beginning of a mission to come back to myself. Years of therapy. EMDR. IFS parts work. Immersing myself in the Conscious Uncoupling process. Thousands of hours of boot camp. Thousands of journal pages. Simplifying and reorganizing my life.

Learning to listen to myself. Learning to respect myself.

Learning that my feelings, wants, needs, boundaries, voice, and life actually matter.

I used to automatically assume no one gave a s**t about me.

Now, when that old story shows up, I’m much more likely to ask:

What am I feeling? What do I need right now?

Because somewhere along the way, I learned something that changed everything:

I give a s**t about me.❤️

08/31/2026

For a long time, I didn’t realize how much of my life I had built around feeling safe.

After my dad left when I was ten, I learned to make myself smaller. I didn’t want to upset my mom, who was dealing with her own pain, and part of me believed that if I didn’t ask too much of my dad, maybe he wouldn’t fully abandon me as he built his second family.

So I became really good at achieving instead to prove that I mattered.

I studied hard, graduated magna cm laude, and eventually found myself in a successful corporate career where I stayed for more than 22 years.

There was safety in loyalty. There was safety in staying with what I knew.

But somewhere along the way, I started realizing that the life that kept me safe wasn’t necessarily the life I wanted.

I had wanted to become a therapist since seeing my first therapist when I was 12. I distinctly remember thinking, I think I could be better at this.😂

Eventually, I decided to find out.

I applied to graduate school in clinical psychology, got in, and started over.

Today I run a virtual therapy practice and coaching business supporting women through relationship and life ruptures.

I’m still learning the difference between what feels safe because it’s familiar…and what actually allows me to grow.

Maybe becoming who we are isn’t about becoming someone new.

Maybe it’s about finally giving ourselves permission to take up the space that was ours all along.

08/28/2026

I’m 52 and I’m afraid to admit that…

1. I’ve been a seeker my whole life, which I think I learned as a result of my parents’ 40-year divorce. I’m always looking for something better that will make me feel safer, more secure, and happier in this life.

2. I’m still in the process of forgiving my parents for only being able to do what they could within their capacity when I was growing up…and even after that. Now they’ve both passed on, this still sits with me.

3. I can struggle with knowing that I matter in this life. I often over-function to show the people in my life that I matter, to prove that I matter. This rarely plays out the way I hope it will!

4. I have a track record of walking away from something as soon as I’m good at it or recognized for my skills. Walking contradiction!

5. I’m still in therapy because a difficult divorce has lasting effects. I know this firsthand, which is part of why I became a licensed therapist in my 40s and soon to be certified Conscious Uncoupling coach.

6. I opted out of having kids, in part because of my parents’ divorce. I didn’t want to risk mucking up a kiddo, even though I have nieces I would do anything for…

7. I just landed in menopause, and it’s not for the weak. My energy and emotions have been all over the place, and it’s forcing me to grapple with my own mortality.

I’m not trying to be perfect. I’m just a human who is sensitive, empathetic, and a learner for life. I’ve been able to cultivate healthy relationships that mean the world to me…and I’m still scared of messing them up. I became a therapist after leaving a 22+ year career because I get what it feels like to be alone, abandoned, and neglected.

This is a safe space if you’d like to follow along. xo

Hey everyone! Posting again—while I’m not taking any more practicum clients, I know some fab coaches in training who are...
06/02/2026

Hey everyone! Posting again—while I’m not taking any more practicum clients, I know some fab coaches in training who are still looking for practicum clients. Reach out if you’re interested in creating a transformative story for your breakup. This is beautiful, healing work…💕💖

Quick announcement for women out there, I have only two pro bono coaching spots available for my Conscious Uncoupling Co...
04/08/2026

Quick announcement for women out there, I have only two pro bono coaching spots available for my Conscious Uncoupling Coaching certification that starts in June! That is 6 sessions with me for freeeee! Reach out if this sounds like something you’re interested in >> [email protected]

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PO Box 5883
Huntington Beach, CA
92615

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