09/10/2026
BREAKING NEWS: Boone stepped away for five minutes and HR has already found his replacements.
After years of subtle hints, strongly worded suggestions, and apparently hanging a giant sign that says "He Just Won't F*ing Retire," management decided to start interviewing candidates.
The good news: They showed up on time.
The bad news: They have absolutely no skin in the game.
One is already taking consultations. The other has claimed the tattoo chair and is accepting appointments sometime between now and the end of eternity.
Boone, when skeletons are literally sitting in your booth waiting for you to retire, the universe may be trying to tell you something. 💀😂