08/26/2026
Today, I am celebrating my 1 year of abstinence. 🌹
I did not plan for this to be part of my spiritual path, but I am so grateful for all that I have learned within this time about myself and my body.
Over a year ago, I sat with God in my singleness and prayed that he would transmute my sexual desires into other energies. I got a very clear “No” as an answer. I was sad and confused. God reflected back to me the 5 of Pentacles from the tarot. He showed me that I was asking to abandon my body and that he made me the way that I am with purpose, and with love.
In astrology, my sun sign is a Ta**us. ♉️ In the tarot, Ta**us is linked to several cards including The Hierophant and The Empress, ruled by the planet Venus.
The Empress is the full embodiment of all 4 queens in the tarot. She is loving, nurturing, fertile, creative, self-valuing and deeply sensual. The Hierophant is represented as the Catholic Pope in the classic Rider-Waite version. The hierophant represents traditional beliefs, the spiritual teacher, and making higher commitments.
St. Catherine has been with me very closely. She is a highly regarded patron in resisting sexual temptation, fighting her own spiritual battle of overwhelming lust. Through spiritual channeling, I felt her enter my crown chakra and releasing lust from me. But very rarely did she agree, often reflecting back the 5 of pentacles.
For the most part, God made me sit in my intense sexual desire. He showed me how to hold it and nurture it. I was tested many, many times by past lovers and it was actually quite easy to decline as time went on. In the last year, I struggled almost every day. But my sacral energy has grown stronger, healing my womb, my fertility, and breaking through ancestral blockages. I am grateful to know how to hold it and be gentle with myself when it is hard. I have left gatherings when I felt my sensuality overtake me and I have never been a fan po*******hy, as it makes me quite sad due to past unfaithful partners.
I have gained sensitivity and strength in duality of my abstinence. I am grateful for the journey and I am grateful for all that was released over the last year. But I bet you can guess what I wished for in the year ahead 😉.