11/15/2023
woah talk about a long time to not post . let me give you some updates .... The last few months have been difficult. I have struggled. I have went between not eating , not sleeping and eating crap . Stress has gotten the best of me . family being ill has weighed heavily on my mind , I've thrown myself into working 4 jobs , my autoimmune disorder has wreaked havoc on my body as it is getting progressively worse . Being an addict is hard especially when it's an addiction to something that's not illegal . No one is stopping you from buying food or eating candy , cookies , bu****it that you know you shouldn't. Even if you know it's going to make you feel like crap later you do it anyway . It's the same cycle doesn't matter what you're addicted to . you know it's wrong you know it's bad for you and you know the consequences but the urge is there and becomes too much so you give in , the feeling of calm is there for a fleeting moment followed by shame , remorse and anger at yourself for giving in and being "weak" . I haven't gained weight back but my body has paid the price for my poor choices with digestive issues , headaches , and just an overall feeling of crappiness that had went away for so long. I'll get it back again . This post is merely a reminder that we all experience life , failures and triumphs . Keep pushing forward everyone you're all doing the best you can !