08/03/2021
This past month of July, I was able to create a bit more space for myself. Well that was the plan anyway. Let me explain… When I set out to do this seemingly awesome forced REST last month, I could feel my system was more tired then ever, exhausted really… craving relaxation and deeply yearning for my own self care and healing. But underneath it all was my fear energy secretly plotting to use this self proclaimed down time to (insert drumroll please) work more! Yes, I was to create new marketing strategies, up my social media game, update my website, plan workshops and yes even change up my workouts, accomplish home improvement tasks and really ‘be there in quality time’ with my daughter & husband. Oh yes! Apparently there was a sale on superhero capes and I was the first in line ready to achieve the unachievable which inevitably would leave me feeling defeated, completely sh*tty and clearly with nothing on my list completed. That familiar thread of old trauma weaving it’s subtle threads through my roots, my solar plexus and my heart… the younger versions of myself tugging at me to pay attention, my intuition ringing the alarms… but I was so tired.
This place here, this place of exhaustion is where I needed to stop and notice. This is the deep inner work, allowing myself to soften into my own system, my inner compass and just notice, listen, feel and breathe. Ahh… so simple right?! I was revisiting that familiar energetic pattern that rises to the surface through exhaustion and being in push mode. The fear of rest can feel unsafe for those of us that had to be in push energy in order to survive. On the continued deep dives of self healing, we find that these historical patterns don’t just magically go away, they rise up to be seen, heard, felt, named, witnessed, acknowledged and known in various ways and each time we have the opportunity to notice more, understand more and shift our fears and our traumas into deeper compassion, clarity and self connection. ⠀
This is the inner work you guys, no one is above it, no one is below it, we can all just be in it…living deeply, connecting and reconnecting with ourselves for as many times as it takes. Continue👇🏽
