Vanessa Bennett, LMFT

Directions Website Contact the business

Vanessa Bennett, LMFT Depth Psychotherapist | Author | Facilitator | Mama

Many of us tend to share a particular blind spot.We’re good at understanding a pattern cognitively, we can explain it cl...
10/19/2026

Many of us tend to share a particular blind spot.

We’re good at understanding a pattern cognitively, we can explain it clearly, and yet it still doesn’t change.

Often this is because we’re only bringing one side of ourselves to the table. The conscious mind. And the unconscious is left out, trying to speak to us in a language we don’t understand, and so we overlook it and its wisdom.

Mythopoetic listening is a way of hearing it, in a client, in a partner, in a friend, and in yourself. It’s the same kind of depth we work with in Inner Compass Academy, and Therapist, Luthier, & Yogi is the perfect person to teach it on Thursday.

Thursday October 22, 12pm PT
Live and recorded
$59
($49 for ICA Alumni)

👉link in bio👈

10/17/2026

If your chest tightens when a friend gets angry, or you rush to fix someone’s grief before they’ve finished feeling it, that reaction is information. It shows you the edges of what you’ve been allowed to feel yourself. Widening those edges begins with letting your own anger, sadness, or bigness exist for a moment without managing it.

We’ve been told that desire fades, that excitement is for the early days, that expecting too much is a sign of immaturit...
10/17/2026

We’ve been told that desire fades, that excitement is for the early days, that expecting too much is a sign of immaturity.

Unfortunately, I think we’ve confused maturity with resignation. This piece is about what’s possible when you stop accepting that trade-off.

Comment “EROS” below and I’ll send you the link to the full piece.

10/16/2026

Resentment is a feeling most of us are taught to be ashamed of. It reads as petty or bitter, so we swallow it, and then it shows up anyway in tight shoulders, a clipped tone, the sigh before you answer a text.

I’d rather you get curious about it. Every bit of resentment points somewhere specific, usually to a need you haven’t said out loud, a role you took on that was never yours, or a boundary you let slide because holding it felt harder.

That doesn’t mean the other person did nothing wrong. It means the part you can actually change is the part you’re holding.

This week’s full Inner Compass Podcast episode at the link in bio.

🎧 Why I Love Resentment: Silent Agreements, Fear, and Doing Your Own Work

What else do I cover in this week’s episode?

- The silent agreements that form between people
- Why fear is almost always underneath them
- What the pendulum swing after a crisis does and doesn’t fix
- Reading resentment as information
- Doing your work inside systems that don’t care about your well-being
- What doing the work alongside someone looks like in practice

10/15/2026

Most of what we were taught as kids came packaged with belonging. Believing it meant you were part of the family, the church, the town, etc. So when one piece starts to crack, you’re rarely questioning just a belief. You’re questioning your place among the people who handed it to you.

That’s why the distrust can spread so fast, and why some of us hold on to parts of the old story long after we’ve stopped agreeing with it. Often what we’re holding on to is what the idea kept us connected to.

This is from a past episode of Cheaper than Therapy. Check out episode #139 to hear the full conversation, anywhere you listen to pods.

Most couples could tell you who does the dishes and who handles the bills. Far fewer could tell you who’s allowed to gro...
10/14/2026

Most couples could tell you who does the dishes and who handles the bills. Far fewer could tell you who’s allowed to grow.

That part of the arrangement is usually unspoken. Maybe one person’s career gets protected and the other’s gets squeezed. Maybe one person’s moods set the temperature of the whole house. Maybe one person changing feels like progress and the other changing feels like a threat.

This forms through repetition, and it tends to show itself the moment someone stops playing along.

This week’s full Inner Compass Podcast episode at the link in bio.

🎧 Why I Love Resentment: Silent Agreements, Fear, and Doing Your Own Work

10/14/2026

Most of us were taught to pick partners by compatibility: shared values, similar goals, good chemistry. Far fewer of us were taught to look at how our wounds fit together.

A lot of couples land in a pattern where one person manages and the other gets managed. From the outside it looks like one functional person and one who won’t grow up. From the inside, both roles are doing a job. One keeps abandonment at bay by being useful. The other keeps love close by needing it.

Seeing it as a shared system doesn’t excuse anyone. It shows you which part is actually yours to manage.

Comment SYSTEM and I’ll send you the full episode.

🎧Why I Love Resentment: Silent Agreements, Fear, and Doing Your Own Work

What else do I cover in this week’s episode?

- The silent agreements that form between people
- Why fear is almost always underneath them
- What the pendulum swing after a crisis does and doesn’t fix
- Reading resentment as information
- Doing your work inside systems that don’t care about your well-being
- What doing the work alongside someone looks like in practice

10/13/2026

The burnout conversation is everywhere right now. So is the “do less” conversation, the boundaries conversation, the self-care conversation.

What’s not being said loudly enough is why women are exhausted in the first place.

It’s not a productivity problem. It’s not a time management problem. And it’s not a personal failing.

This is a passage from my book, *The Motherhood Myth*. I wrote it because I think the most radical thing a woman can do right now is stop performing for her belonging long enough to ask who benefits from her staying overwhelmed.

Link in bio to get your copy. And I would love if you could leave a review of the book if it meant something to you. It’s the way we get the message out to more people

10/09/2026

The most practical thing I know for updating your nervous system is also the simplest.

Just say the thing.

Not a performance of vulnerability, not verbal processing at length. Just name what’s happening in your body in the moment. “I’m feeling nervous right now.” “I notice I want to pull away.” “My stomach is tightening.” “I’m having a hard time staying present.”

There’s research behind why this works. A UCLA study found that affect labeling — just putting words to an emotional state — reduces activation in the amygdala and increases activity in the prefrontal cortex. You’re turning on the part of your brain that can think, reflect, feel empathy, and choose what you do next. You’re shifting out of alarm and into presence.

But beyond the neuroscience — every time you say the true thing, the thing that feels too vulnerable or too exposing, and connection doesn’t collapse? You’re building evidence. You’re proving something to your own system. You are updating the operating system, so to speak.

Simple, yes. But not easy, I know.

Comment “KNOWN” below and I’ll send you the direct link to Episode 35: Why You Sabotage the Closeness You Want Most: Attachment, Intimacy, and the Fear of Being Known

Address

Los Angeles, CA

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Vanessa Bennett, LMFT posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Business

Send a message to Vanessa Bennett, LMFT:

Shortcuts

Sponsored

Share

Category