B-Fit LLC

10/18/2026

Do you want a good relationship?

Here's how to have one…

Don't get into a relationship because you're bored, can't be alone, lonely, or just think you're supposed to.

Get into a relationship because you have something to share and you can't wait to do that with the right person.

You should have so much love in your heart that it just spills over and you can’t wait to share that.

If not, don't get into a relationship until you find that love. It's there inside of you. You just need to figure that out. so it's OK to wait until you do.

We can't pour from an empty cup and we can't fill that cup with anyone else.

That's not love, it's the opposite of love.

So don’t be cynical. Relationships work, and are beautiful. We just need to become the people we need to be to navigate them.

I always say good relationships are for grown-ups. 😂

Have a great day!

10/17/2026

Confident or A-Hole?

“My coach told me I need to be more confident, but I don’t want to be an a-hole.”

That was a conversation I had with a young person, and I thought it might be helpful to explore this and share it with you.


Because I think the world would be a better place with more confident people and fewer a-holes.


And now I think I’ve said a-hole enough times (lol)to refer to it as being arrogant, or cocky.


Confidence is important, for sure. Without it, we don’t bring our full selves forward. We play small, and that doesn’t serve anyone.


That’s why my young friend’s coach wanted him to be more confident. He knew he had a greater level of play in him, and he wanted him to unleash it.


The young man was afraid of doing that because he didn’t know how to be confident without becoming arrogant.


So we discussed it, and I shared with him that the difference between arrogance and confidence is the place they come from.


The difference between confidence and arrogance:


True confidence comes from something deep inside. It’s our authenticity, and some might say it’s our connection to God. I've even heard it refered to as 'Godfidence".


Arrogance, on the other hand, comes from a deep insecurity. It’s a disconnection from that deeper place within us.

Confidence can benefit the person who has it, but it also benefits the people around them and the greater good. (win-win)

Arrogance primarily benefits the person who has it, and often at the expense of others. It’s not usually used for the greater good. (win-lose or lose-lose)

There’s another part of this that I shared with this young player.

Playing small isn't noble:

Simply deciding not to play to your greatest level or stick your neck out isn’t necessarily noble.

Playing small and holding back isn't kind to self or others.


I suspect the people who read this blog are probably the ones who could use a little more confidence themselves.

And those are the people I love to help because they have good hearts and will pay it forward but usually need some help.

So let me speak to that.

Why should you be confident?

Well, becoming more confident means stepping into areas of discomfort.

It takes a risk, for sure.

But that risk will bring out dormant forces inside you like lifting heavier weights.

It can make you grow, reach out to people you never reached out to before, and express things you might never have expressed.

And this risk will make you feel alive in a good way.

The really cool thing about this, and why it serves the greater good, is that it inspires the people around you.

It gives them an example.

An example of what?

Of someone who has come truly alive.

Of someone who is growing.

And that’s a really good thing because so many people play small in their lives. They stay under the radar, avoid taking risks, and never discover what they’re capable of.

They can end up living dull, unfulfilling lives. And that emptiness leads to addiction, dissatisfaction, and getting into trouble that doesn’t really serve them or anyone.

But when you and I step into our confidence, we’re not telling people how great we are.

We’re giving them an example of greatness.

And that greatness isn’t just in you and me. It’s in everyone.

And we’re not supposed to hide it.

Jesus said not to hide your light under a bushel, but to let it shine.

I think that’s a beautiful reminder that what we have inside us isn’t just for ourselves. It’s also meant to be shared with others.

If you have something inside you, bring it out and share it, because we all need it.

This is also why I love coaching.

I love helping people bring out the confidence that’s already inside them, especially people who want to be kind and make a positive difference in the world.

Sometimes, those very people hold themselves back because they don’t want to appear arrogant or hurt anyone’s feelings.

But we don't need to choose between being confident or good. We can be both.

So I challenged my young friend to go out there and be confident and play full out.

I explained to him that anything less would leave part of his potential on the sidelines.

So no, don’t be an a-hole.

Oops, there I go again;). I mean, don’t be arrogant.

Be confident. Be courageous. Be who God made you to be.

We need your example.

If you feel there’s more inside you but you’re having trouble bringing it out, I’d love to help you explore that through coaching.

Much love,

Bert

10/11/2026

Find Your North Star

I was a freshman in high school when I learned something that would quietly change the way I looked at my life.

I had started working with my stepfather (in the photo above), doing all sorts of home-improvement jobs in people’s homes.

One day, we were painting a house when the owners left us there.

There were a bunch of papers sitting on their table, and I guess my dad recognized one of them as a savings passbook.

He picked it up, looked inside, and called me over.

“Look at this.”

There was more than $40,000 in their savings account.

Aside from feeling a little funny about looking at somebody else’s bank statement, I was absolutely floored.

Someone had $40,000 in a savings account?

This was the late 1980s, so that was a lot of money.

But what struck me wasn’t really the money.

It was what the money represented.

It showed me something I didn’t know was possible.

You see, my family never had much money.

I grew up in poverty with my grandmother and half-brothers and sisters. Even when we eventually got a house in the suburbs of New Jersey, money was still a constant problem.

Sometimes our electricity was turned off. Sometimes the water.

We would get notices from the mortgage company.

So when I saw that savings account, it gave me something I had never really had before:

an example.

I know that probably sounds silly.

But when you grow up in poverty and dysfunction, you don’t necessarily know any other way.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

And that’s why I believe examples are so important.

How do you get to a place if you can’t imagine what it’s like to be there—or if you don’t even know that place exists?

I’m not sure you can.

That $40,000 became a kind of North Star for me.

It showed me that having money was possible.

I remember thinking, If these people did it, I just have to figure out how they did it and do some of the same things.

I needed education, financial sense, and .to learn how money worked.

And over the years, I picked up those things along the way—and then some.

But my dad taught me something even more important than how to think about money.

He taught me how to think about possibility.
He had started his home-repair business with very little knowledge.

He would sometimes take jobs that he wasn’t even sure how he was going to complete.

And he would always say to me:

“If human hands can do it, we can do it. We just have to figure out how.”

Pretty brave guy, huh?

That idea stayed with me.

As I got older, I started asking myself how I could create a better life.

And whenever I faced something difficult, I could almost hear my dad’s voice:

Did everything change overnight?

Of course not.

But things did change.

And they changed for the better.

I remember hearing about schools that would take inner-city kids to college campuses.

The idea was that if these kids could actually see what a college campus looked like, it would demystify it.

Then when they went back to school, they had something to aim for.

They had seen it. and could imagine themselves there.

Now I've shared examples about money and education but this works in every area of life.

We can find good examples of anything we want such as relationships, friendships, health or even attributes we would love to have.

So, if you’re the one facing a problem, especially something that has been sticking around for years, look for someone who has faced something similar and overcome it.

Find examples of who are succeeding in what you would love and start doing some of the same things they did.

It really can be that simple.

Don't forget to encourage someone around you to find their North Star and keep finding yours.

And once you find one, you may discover that the place you thought was impossible to reach was simply a place you had never learned to imagine.

If you need to talk something over and explore some possibilities for your own life, simply book a complimentary call through the website below.

Wishing you a life filled with miracles.

Much love,

Bert

www.bertastacio

10/04/2026

Changing Your Name Doesn't Change Your Past

I swore I would never have anything to do with him.



My mom and dad split up when I was very young. My sister and I were left to navigate some incredibly difficult and dangerous circumstances.



When I finally met my father about 20 years later, he spent much of the time talking about how successful he had become.



He seemed completely unaware—or unconcerned—about what my sister and I had endured growing up.

That day I made a promise.



I wanted nothing to do with him.



I even changed my last name because I didn’t want to carry his.



I told myself he would never meet my future children.



But changing my name didn’t change how I felt inside and as the years passed, I started doing a lot of inner work with various people and resources.



I began to see that hate doesn’t punish the other person nearly as much as it imprisons us and I couldn’t be the man I wanted to be without healing.



It didn’t happen overnight, but little by little my heart began to open.



Ironically, meeting my biological father introduced me to his sister—my aunt. We connected instantly.



Years later, when my daughter was about a year old, my aunt and her family were coming to my area for a reunion. They asked if everyone could gather at my house.



That included my biological father.



I hadn’t seen him in years.



I prayed about it, and the answer that came to me was simple:



Let him come.



It was time to let go of the bitterness I had been carrying.



The family came over, and we had a nice visit. My father stayed for a while before leaving. My aunt stayed the entire weekend.



During that visit, she told me a story that changed something inside of me forever.



She said that when my parents were separating, my 16 year old sister from my mom’s first marriage called my father because my sister and I were in terrible condition.



He was away and asked my aunt and her friend to get us.



We had been locked inside an apartment room.



The electricity had been shut off and we had no food.



My mother was away working, and my older sister had been left to watch me and my other sister. . She reversed the lock on our bedroom door so she could go out and we would stay in the room.



We must have been in the room for a long time because when my aunt and her friend finally came, she said our eyes were sunken from hunger.



The room smelled of waste because there was no bathroom.



I was still in diapers.



My sister, who was about 4 years old, was sitting there pulling her own hair out.



Even today, writing those words brings tears to my eyes.

https://bertastacio.com/changing-your-name-doesnt-change-your-past/

09/26/2026

Question: How many books do you read in a year?
What was your favorite book?

09/26/2026

The Best $1500 I Ever Lost


Would you return a large amount of cash if you found it?



Do you think someone would return your money if you lost it?



Here is my experience…



About 10 years ago, I took $1,500 in cash, put it in an envelope, slipped it into my pocket, and went about my day.



I had attended a seminar where my mentor said, “If you’d like to attract more wealth, carry around what you’d like to make in a day.”



I figured I’d try it. You never know.



On my way home, I stopped at the local supermarket.



When I got home, I reached into my pocket.



The envelope was gone.



I lost it.



I literally thought I was going to be sick.



After pulling myself together, I retraced my steps back to the supermarket.



I called first, awkwardly trying to explain that I had lost an envelope with a large amount of cash and asked if anyone had turned it in.



I almost felt foolish saying the words out loud.



The woman on the phone simply said, “Come in.”

09/20/2026

The Day My Eyes Opened

We had just moved into our first home, and I was very pi**ed off.



The previous owner had apparently hidden some damage in the basement.



He had installed a drop down ceiling to cover the damage, and as I began taking it down, I was getting more and more angry.



Next thing I knew I couldn’t see.



Apparently, I didn't feel or notice all the things that were getting in my eyes because I was so worked up.



The next morning, when I woke up, I was terrified. I still couldn’t open my eyes.



It had been about 24 hours without my sight.



I slowly made my way downstairs, wondering, what am I going to do?



At the time, I had just begun learning about the power of our thoughts and how much our thinking can influence the way we experience our lives.



And then a question came to me:



What was I thinking right before I got hurt?



I thought back.



I realized I had been thinking about how much I hated the previous owner for what he had done.



And I thought that this whole thing is such a pain in the butt. It was so unnecessary.



Then another thought came to me.



What if I did the opposite?



What if, instead of continuing to think about everything I was angry about, I deliberately thought about what I appreciated?



So, I started thinking about the things I appreciated about the man and the house.



He had installed a sprinkler system.

He had put in a new furnace.

There were new windows.

He had redone the kitchen.

The house had a beautiful backyard and plenty of space.

And overall, it really was an excellent home that he had taken pretty good care of.



I kept going.



I kept looking for things to appreciate.



And little by little, I noticed that my frustration began to change.



I felt more grateful.

I felt more peaceful.



And then something happened that I still can’t fully explain.

https://bertastacio.com/the-day-my-eyes-opened/

09/13/2026

Nothing is too good to be true,
Nothing is too wonderful to happen,
Nothing is too good to last.
Florence Scovel Shinn

09/12/2026

What Ollie Taught Me About Joy

I can’t believe I’m sharing this with you, but here goes.



This is Ollie.



He is a character for sure, and a really good dog.



I can walk him off leash because he listens so well.



The kids across the street always want to see him, and when I have time, I bring him over.



Yesterday was one of those times.



Now, I said Ollie was good, but he does have his quirks, and I joke with him about how he gets me in trouble.



A few months ago, when I was bringing Ollie over to the kids across the street, he ran over to their flowers and took what seemed like an hour-long p*e all over their shrubs and flowers.



And of course, their dad came out and saw the whole thing.



I told him I was sorry.



He laughed and, because he doesn’t have a dog, said he was going to return the favor to my shurbs. :)



So now, fast-forward to yesterday.



I brought Ollie over to see the boy.



And to my surprise, when I looked over, he was urinating on the boy’s shoe this time.



I screamed, “No!”



The boy looked down and eventually pulled his foot away, and I apologized profusely.



And of course, the dad came out again.


read more here:

https://bertastacio.com/what-ollie-taught-me-about-joy/

09/06/2026

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUxhQC2NEv8

A reflection on Nietzsche’s warning that when we gaze into an abyss...