01/07/2025
Hi my name is Kylie, Iâm 11 years post-op from my bariatric surgery and even as a registered dietitian who was specializing in obesity, I relapsed.
My lowest weight was around 2 years post-op at 145 pounds and in 2023 I got back up to 221. I was 262 prior to surgery so I gained about 65% of the weight back. Here are some of the hard stuff I havenât talked aboutâŚ
â˘Transfer addiction - I wasnât coping with food but my brain still wanted a âhitâ so alcohol became a crutch and I abused it often. Then used being drunk as an excuse for being a not great human to the friends I had at the time. It also was my way of numbing my chronic pain.
â˘Overexercising - I damaged my body and depleted my nutrient levels because I was constantly working out trying to find a release.
â˘Ignoring my actual mental health concerns and instead used my surface level diagnoses to enable my bad behaviors. Didnât mind sharing my problems but didnât actually want to fix anything.
â˘Attention seeking and Iâd go as far to say I had started some narcissistic tendencies as a result. Again my brain was still looking for a âhitâ and social media made this much worse, I was addicted to the likes.
â˘Putting unrealistic expectations on myself. Especially with toxic thoughts of âI canât be the fat Dietitianâ.
Itâs taken 34 years and a few docs to diagnose my ADHD and finally explain my brain to me. Iâm currently working with a psychiatrist to find the right meds. But Adderall has helped my food noise and attention span quite a bit so self care is easier.
I see a therapist every 3-5 weeks and havenât had an alcoholic drink in 4 years. Now that Iâm getting enough dopamine my brain doesnât look for it as much in my old vices. My health isnât perfect, still donât know why I have chronic pain but since July of this year I am down 22 #, back under 200 #. Focusing on my mental health and adding in low impact regular movement 3-4x per week to manage stress not lose weight.
The world feels like đď¸ right now and itâs been hard to self advocate because it seems so inconsequential but I do keep pushing and wanted to share my thoughts to motivate others to keep going too đ