05/15/2026
Today for Friday, I’m going to tell you a story I don’t talk about much to anyone, much less with patients. But, maybe I should.
When I had my first daughter I was 21, but I looked 16. I was a military wife with a husband in military flight school. Now, this was a long time ago, so I hope nothing like this happens to anyone anymore, but -
Many military wives used to have babies when they were very young. And they often would have 2-3 babies back to back, all while very young. The OBGYNs near the military bases were known to treat expectant mothers like children. When I went in to see my OBGYN he would pat me on the head and talk down to me, every visit.
I had been accepted to medical school already and had a college degree but he still talked to me like I was stupid. When I toured the hospital, the nurses told me that he gave versed and Va**um to moms when they were in labor - he claimed so they didn’t remember the pain. But the downside of that was that you also didn’t remember meeting your baby, or anything about the delivery.
I didn’t have any other option for an OBGYN. So, I tried to think of a way to “accidentally” go into labor in a nearby city so the military insurance would pay for it as an emergency. But, ultimately I was too poor and too afraid of being stuck with a bill I could I couldn’t afford to do this.
When one of my good friends had a baby, a couple months before me, and seemed amazed that she didn’t remember anything about the delivery, I knew I had to do something.
So, I called my mom. She is also a doctor but she was a family practice doctor who also was trained in delivering babies. Together we came up with a plan.
She came down and stayed with me a little bit before my due date and she delivered my daughter at home.
Yep. My older daughter was a drug free home birth.
And it all went well, except for one thing afterwards. The pediatrician I saw the week afterward with her called DFACS. Because of the home birth and because I hadn’t given vitamin K.
The truth is I didn’t even think about the vitamin K, and I guess my mom didn’t either. When she told me what could happen without it, especially with a breastfed baby.. the internal hemorrhaging that could happen I panicked. I was genuinely trying to do the best thing for me and my baby with this delivery. I didn’t think a man who was going to drug me up for amnesia of my delivery was the best thing. I was also a tiny bit suspicious to be honest. When my mom was in medical school sometimes male OBGYNs would do cruel things to the women when they were sedated or drugged up. What was so bad about a delivery that he needed me to forget it?
I went to the health department and got the Vitamin K shot. And, after a few weeks DFACS left me alone. But I still remember the sick feeling I had thinking someone could try to take my daughter away from me all because I tried to make the best choices with the options I had.
Health care is better now. I haven’t heard of horrible male OBGYNs like this in a long time. But, I hope that my experiences like this, my personal experiences can help me connect better with patients.
As I get older, I want to bring more transparency to medicine and the things we go through as moms and as women, not just say the things that quality scores or even government agencies want me to say. This is my new mission for this stage of my life. Come along with me as I figure out a way to do just that.
Dr Hill