08/24/2026
There’s a kind of grief nobody really prepares you for.
The grief of still being here… but not feeling like yourself anymore.
When you’ve been sick for years.
When your body changes.
When grief moves in and stays awhile.
When the things that used to feel effortless suddenly take everything you have.
Your world can get really small and dark without you even realizing it.
Mine did.
And for a long time, I kept waiting for the day I would finally feel like the “old me” again.
These pictures are teaching me something different.
Over the last year, I’ve started seeing her in little flashes.
The woman laughing with people she loves.
Going somewhere just because it sounds fun.
Taking the picture.
Making the memory.
Opening up for business again.
Wanting to participate in things I swore I’d never do again.
There is so much about the last 5+ years I would never choose, or wish on anyone.
But I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking backward, trying to recreate the woman I was before everything happened.
Maybe she isn’t the destination.
Maybe all of it…the sickness, the grief, the rebuilding, the tiny wins that start stacking, the days I finally wanted more from life again, has been part of .
And lately?
I recognize her.
Not completely.
Not every day.
But enough to know my spark is slowly but surely returning in the little every day ways I show up for myself.
I can’t wait to see who I become.🫶🏻
If you can relate, come along for the journey and follow Edie Rhoads | Wellness Collective
