Allesanda Tolomei-Hard

Allesanda Tolomei-Hard Who the heck am I?! I am a Certified Massage Therapist and wellness practitioner by trade. I want to help you transform your life challenges into assets.

Spiritual Mentor, Wellness Coach & Intuitive Healer 🌿
Helping high-achieving, heart-centered peopl release burnout, people-pleasing & chronic anxiety so they can finally trust themselves and live with more peace and joy. I have over come some hardcore life challenges- like family illness, deaths, unhealthy relationships, addiction and loss of my home in a wildfire. I want to share my experience an

d how I transformed with you! My goal is to show people that anything is possible for them. The secret that I have learned is that when we transform our thoughts and feelings, our external world follows. Freedom and joy come from within. Join me on an internal journey of transformation!

08/27/2026

Your mistakes are not proof that there's something wrong with you.

They are proof that you're human.❤️

If you're a people pleaser or perfectionist, this is a hard one to accept— because somewhere along the way you learned that to be good enough means to be perfect and flawless.

Never dropping the ball.
Never letting anyone down.

But that's impossible.
And we didn't come into this life knowing everything.

We came here to learn... Sometimes the same things over and over again.

So the next time you catch yourself replaying a mistake on a loop in your head, try this:

✨ Imagine that your best friend was in the same position you are.

What would you say to them?

How would you talk to them?

✨ Ask yourself, will this really matter in 5 years?

Most of what we beat ourselves up about won't even matter in 5 weeks. Let your perspective give you permission to let it go.

You're allowed to be a work in progress.

You're allowed to make mistakes.

What's one thing you've been holding on to about yourself lately?

Tell me below— let's practice Grace together👇

08/20/2026

The pen can feel like it's 1,000 lbs if you aren't used to writing. 

And your mind might question if it really will help. 
I've been there and used to feel that way. 

For me, writing creates space to view my problems in a different light and consider who or what am I trying to control that is continuing to my discomfort? 

What feelings are being called to be felt and processed? 

Writing has become a sacred act of self care for someone who has a hard time getting in touch with their feelings. 

What are you being called to process through writing?

Are you carrying responsibility that isn't yours?

Food for thought.

08/16/2026

Peace doesn’t always show up the way we think it will during hard times.

It doesn’t have to look like being totally zen while experiencing something big, painful, and challenging. (Most likely that would be a form of denial or resistance.)

Peace can instead look like riding the waves of life and honoring your emotions as they arise. Honoring when you are tired (even though your mind tells you that you haven’t done anything strenuous).

Peace can be taking time to work out, go for a walk, or sit outside first thing in the morning.

It can look like tears. It can look like laughter. It can simply be doing your best to stay present for whatever arises (as best as you can).

And holding yourself with love and compassion.

This is what peace can look like.

It can be different than you expected — and it can be exactly what it is for you.

Life’s challenges create disruptions.An injury. A family member’s illness. The loss of someone you love.They throw our s...
08/15/2026

Life’s challenges create disruptions.

An injury. A family member’s illness. The loss of someone you love.

They throw our sense of normal up in the air.

At first, it can feel wrong—like it's not supposed to be this way.

But when things eventually settle, they often settle differently than before.

And different isn’t bad.

Sometimes the disruption itself holds a silver lining.

It might open the door to a new way of moving that works even better.

It might help you slow down and realize many of the “urgent” things weren’t as pressing as they felt.

It might create the space you didn’t know you needed—to feel seen, heal a relationship, or reconnect with yourself.

When instability hits, it’s completely normal for control, perfectionism, and people-pleasing to show up.

You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re human.
Navigating the eb and flow of life.

So… if you find yourself in a challenging season, is there a silver lining you can find in the chaos?

You don’t have to force a positive spin.

Just notice if there’s any small (or big) gift, strength, or opening this hard time has quietly created for you.




Photo by Lisa Fonville | Hemlock House, Inc.

08/09/2026

Now & Zen: Deep Rest
A 90-minute restorative experience designed for people who give a lot to others and often put themselves last.

✨You’ll be fully supported in gentle restorative yoga poses (bolsters and blankets do the work).

🧘‍♀️Guided through calming meditation to keep you mind present and off your to-do list.

💆‍♀️Receive light compression to help your body and nervous system settle more deeply.

This class is for the high-achieving, heart-centered people who feels the weight of everyone else’s needs, who is tired of running on empty, and who knows she needs real rest—not just another quick fix.

❤️ When you finally give yourself permission to pause, you remember what it feels like to come home to yourself. And from that place, everything else becomes a little lighter.

If you’re looking for a simple way to pause and reset, join Jodi Shields and me for

Now & Zen: Deep Rest.
Saturday, August 15th
5:30–7:00 PM
828 School Street, Downtown Napa

Only 8 spots total.
Just 5 remaining.

This is your time to lighten the load and make a little more space for you.

👉Link in bio to save your spot

07/30/2026

Growing has its ups and downs.

When you find yourself in a spiritual valley, remember, everyone goes through low points where they repeat old patterns.

It doesn't mean you are doing something 'wrong'.
But it may mean that you are stretched too thin or depleted.

Lean on the tools and practices that have made you feel better in the past.

Over time, you don't stop making mistakes or visiting those valleys but you can learn to detach from them — recognizing there is always more to learn, that being kind to yourself is a necessary part of growth, and you don't need to be perfect.

What story are you telling yourself?Because it’s not really about what happens to you— it's the story you tell about it ...
07/26/2026

What story are you telling yourself?

Because it’s not really about what happens to you— it's the story you tell about it that shapes your life.

Hard things happen.
Loss.
Injustice.
Watching someone you love suffer.

Life can feel unfair.

But with time and a little distance, there can be a silver lining — if you’re willing to look for it.

That’s what a reframe is.

Losing my home in the 2017 wildfire was hard. But it bonded me with my husband’s family and inspired him to become a firefighter.

Stability was born out of something deeply destabilizing.

When we don’t reframe hard experiences, they can stay stuck as “bad things that happened" and deeply affect our day-to-day well being.

When we do, we can see how they shaped us — stronger, more compassionate, more connected.

A good reframe turns a disempowering story into an empowering one.

Think of it as your comeback story.

You don’t have to force a positive spin.

Just notice: what gifts, strengths, or lessons eventually came from something hard?

You are more than what happened to you.

What do you want to reframe?

-pleasing

07/22/2026

Breathe.
Put your hand in your heart.
Feel what it's like to be present in your body.

Something simple to help you slow down. 💕

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