05/06/2023
One year ago this month, my parents moved back to Pennsylvania after 50+ years.
The year has brought joy mixed with challenges. My parent's health was poor when they moved here, so we quickly had to move my mother into memory care while my dad endured numerous hospital stays.
By late last year, my mother went into hospice care, with her health rebounding a bit. She’s up for her 6-month review, but she will likely stay in hospice care. Dementia has taken its brutal toll. Most times, she remembers me, but there are times she thinks I’m her twin sister who died several years ago.
My father was the second to go on hospice in March. The hospice team has been excellent, especially in allowing my father to stay in his independent apartment just down the hall from his wife.
The last six months took a toll on me as well. Watching my parent age and slowly diminish in energy, health, and mood, is hard to witness. On the flip side, I’m honored to be a part of their team of caretakers.
For a while, I was the primary caretaker, and it became overwhelming quickly. I needed help but did not know how to ask for it, as my norm was to take on all responsibility.
I had to take myself out of my autopilot caretaker mode. But how? Well, the universe works in mysterious ways; I soon found myself on a shamanic retreat in February and then another level last month.
In those two weeks and lots of intense exercises, I finally began the work to change from beliefs that didn’t serve me, exposed my shadows, learned how to say no and know my boundaries, and how to have fun (yes, that one was hard for me to relearn) and confirm my soul’s purpose. And so much more.
All these helped me become a better daughter, friend, lover, caretaker, and human being.
Ah life, with its infinite surprises!
My parents moving back to PA was just what we all needed. 💜💜💜