09/13/2024
She would have been 22 yesterday. 😔
So many things going through my mind today. A lot of “what ifs”
I try not to let myself go there, but today was just one of those days.
I loved her so deeply and fought so hard for her.
This is her first birthday in 22 years that I won’t be talking with her.
I remember last year she was going out with some guy she had just met and I was concerned for her. She shared her location with me and told me not to worry. She was excited to be 21 and that her life was turning around.
Only it didn’t
Those are still some hard words to say.
I prayed for a different outcome.
Does that mean that the Lord of the universe failed me? No, no it doesn’t.
It simply means His ways are better than ours.
Do I ever question His ways? Of course!!
But the bigger question is this..Do I still trust Him?
Even if….
Even if my child doesn’t become saved
Even if my child gets cancer
Even if I get an illness
Even if my child struggles with mental illness and addiction
Even when I go through hard stuff with teens
Even when my marriage is struggling
Even when I lose a child
To all the “Even ifs” I will still trust Him
Happy birthday Breezy. You are so incredibly loved and missed. Today we will eat some peanut butter and chocolate cake and just remember.