06/15/2026
IS IT LEARN TO PLAY OR PLAY TO LEARN?
I asked my daughters what they liked best about school. The answer from each of them was usually “recess”. At least in elementary school. The elementary school that all three of my daughters attended had playgrounds sectioned off by levels of playground equipment, kind of. I don’t recall them being formally marked as such, but I remember my daughters being clear as to which equipment they were allowed to play on during which grade. Except on the weekends. When the playgrounds were open to the community.
Prior to when my youngest was old enough for elementary school, even before Kindergarten, she wanted to play on the playground. Because she looked up to her sisters, she wanted to play on the same playground equipment as they did. This meant the tallest slide on this particular day.
I remember looking at this slide and thinking, this should only be for sixth graders! It was very tall and had many steps to get to the landing from which to start “the slide”. So, we devised a plan with safety in mind (I hoped). With my youngest daughter excitedly climbing up the ladder first and my second daughter closely covering her from behind looking very protective (probably for my benefit more than her sister’s), they happily climbed to the top of the slide while I gave instructions (which from their body language told me they were neither listening to or paying attention to) from my position at the bottom of the slide ready to sn**ch and catch at any time as my youngest was coming down. Granted, the top of the slide was higher than I could even reach with my arms fully stretched out so I had to depend on my second daughter to keep my youngest centered and upright as her sister started her decline.
Which took mere seconds once they reached the top and launched themselves down the metal pathway, laughing hysterically the entire few more seconds it took them to reach my arms. My youngest immediately said “Again” and started running to the ladder with her sister close behind her. It took several more slides down before they were ready to go on to other parts of the playground. They were pleased with themselves. And frankly, so was I. I did not admit how many times I held my breath when they tried these types of adventures as they were growing up. I did tell them, however, how proud I was of them for trying things that looked a little scary. I didn’t specify whether I meant scary to them or me.
I remembered that when all three of my daughters learned to rappel using ropes and harnesses. I remembered when my 4-year-old again, wanted to do what her older sisters were doing. I remembered when the two older daughters went with their youth group leader and a group of friends to an island off the southern coast of Korea and climbed to the top of a 300-foot cliff so they could rappel down. When I later heard that my oldest daughter had cried looking down, off the cliff, being totally scared being held by a harness hooked to a rope and making a face first rappel rather than a backing down rappel. It was more like going face first and walking down seeing the distance the whole time. Her youth group leader and friends encouraged her as she peered down that cliff with tears falling down her cheeks. She was a teenager at the time. It was probably a good thing that I, as Mom, was not there. For both of us. I am not sure how they convinced her to go. But she did it. When she got to the bottom of that cliff, I was told there was a very big celebration.
Being scared is part of fun apparently, at least for my family. Not always, But enough. Sometimes, though, fun is just fun. Laughing and joy and playing with friends or by yourself. There are different kinds of fun. They are all important.
When watching young orangutans play in the rainforest and stray from their mothers, I wondered how the mother orangutan felt. She looked calm. I wondered though, if she was scared for her infant and somehow set boundaries for him or her that was unknown to the humans watching from below.
The mother orangutan sat on her branch eating the fruit she had just picked from the tree. The youngster was slightly above her and appeared to be trying out her swinging capabilities as she reached for another branch in the same tree. The mother looked up. If the youngster seemed to be going too far, the mother pulled her back nearer to her. The youngster usually was given some food to eat or encouraged to pick some of her own easily accessible. As we watched mothers on different days who were with different babies or older youngsters, we could see that as the young orangutans grew, those older were pulled back to the mother less and less.
There were times when another mother orangutan would be feeding in an adjacent tree with their youngster and the two youngsters would begin to interact. We saw that more often in rehabilitation centers where orangutans were housed after being found in the forest abandoned usually after their mother had been killed somehow. Caregivers in orangutan rehabilitation centers are careful regarding allowing young orangutans ways to interact and with each other, knowing the end goal is usually to release them back into the wild when they are older and they have to manage and figure out how to live peacefully together in their natural rainforest habitat.
In the wild, the orangutan mother teaches them boundaries and unspoken rules on how far to explore. If they encounter another youngster in the wild, interacting with them teaches them social skills similar to human children learning on an elementary school playground. Sometimes in the wild, a young orangutan may see something that looks interesting. Her attempt at discovery will determine her experience of fun vs. fear perhaps. Human children also have similar encounters. Both may determine how they learn to manage and handle risks in their life.