06/15/2026
June 15 2023
Walking through the streets of New York City, knowing I was changed forever— excited and nervous as I was about to take a pregnancy test three days after my embryo transfer, the smell of the carts making me terribly nauseous. I already knew the result.
It was the most beautiful I ever felt, carrying you.
There was a softness, a strength — a healing. I naturally became closer to every woman in my life. I’ll never forget that phone call in early October where I spoke to my grandmother and she told me how excited she was to meet you, how I was glowing carrying you. It was the last time I spoke to her, but I still feel her everyday and I think it’s because of you. Mystical, magical you.
I remember closing my eyes on the acupuncture bed and visualizing the moment I met you for the first time. I was eight months pregnant, but I saw you and it was exactly the same way. We transcended time. I traveled to that moment where I birthed you with the strength of all the women of the world. I knew I was forever changed, that nothing can ever break me. It wasn’t my strength alone, it was yours and all the women before you and me.
Now, you’re turning three. Your smile lights up every room. You are so curious about the body and you tell me you’re a doctor (a back surgeon) and you’re a natural on stage. I was in awe watching your little body bravely come even more alive under the bright lights, as you performed without looking for anyone. You love to sing and dance, to read, and you can’t sit through a cartoon, yet you love 90s movies and know some of them by heart.
My heart beats for you, for our friendship, for the fun we have. When we sing pop songs in the car, share lip gloss, read the same stories over and over. Your “I love you, mama” as you grab my face. Your little hand looking for mine. Calling each other beautiful and smart and the way you run to me after we’ve been apart and expect me to scream and kiss you. I’ll do that everyday.
It’s an unfathomable joy to get to have you by my side in this life, to get to be your mother, and experience your magic. I love you, Isabella. Happy birthday, my golden sun! 🌞
