25/05/2026
Lesson 1: You cannot pour from an empty cup.
When I was 32 weeks pregnant, I was working long hours as a resident and pushing myself harder than I should have been. Eventually, I ended up admitted to the same high-risk unit where I had been taking care of patients.
And while I was admitted… my chief resident asked if I could still help out and do some work.
I said yes.
Now, looking back, it sounds absolutely unhinged. Tiny violin playing in the distance. Hospital bracelet on, contractions looming, and somehow my brain was still like, “But what if I inconvenience someone?”
But in the moment, I was not thinking about myself. I was thinking about my team. I felt guilty about letting people down. I wanted to help. I wanted to prove I could still handle everything.
A lot of us move through pregnancy and motherhood this way.
Especially the people-pleasing perfectionists.
Especially the “I’ll do it myself” crowd.
Especially the only children who learned early how to overfunction and keep everything running smoothly for everyone else.
We talk a lot about advocating for yourself in healthcare, but the truth is that self-advocacy is really hard when you have spent your whole life minimizing your own needs.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish.
Rest is not weakness.
Needing help does not make you a burden.
And honestly, we need to do better at taking care of each other too. But learning to care for others in a healthy way starts with learning how to care for ourselves first.
This is one of the biggest lessons pregnancy and motherhood have taught me, and it is something I want to continue sharing here moving forward.
To everyone out there struggling with guilt, overworking, perfectionism, or feeling responsible for everyone else all the time: I see you. And you deserve care too.
