09/10/2026
Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater: Holding paradox with integrity
This is an Oracle card from the deck I’ve been creating - one of the concepts I return to most often in my work. It’s harder than it sounds.
Yogi Bhajan built a Kundalini yoga lineage that genuinely transformed thousands of lives, and he was also a serial sexual predator who exploited followers in egregious ways. J.K. Rowling gave an entire generation a mythic world that still lives inside them, and she has used her platform repeatedly to harm trans people.
Both things are true. The harm doesn’t disappear because the gift was real. The gift doesn’t disappear because the harm was real.
What I’ve seen in my patients and myself is that when we split, we force ourselves to choose between grief and gratitude when both are actually true simultaneously.
This isn’t only about public figures. Many have had parents who caused real harm and also passed down something genuinely loved - the artistic eye, work ethic, humor, the way you move through the world.
You don’t have to renounce those blessings to hold them accountable. The baby is real. The bathwater is real. Naming each clearly without collapsing them is its own integrity - and how you actually get to keep what’s genuinely yours.
This capacity to hold paradox without splitting allows us to be whole humans navigating a complex world where most things contain both shadow and light.
✨ Do you resonate with the challenge of holding them both? Share below!