08/30/2026
Today is National Grief Awareness Day.
Grief has been ever present in my life since the death of my mom in 2023.
Before and after my mom’s death I was very scared on how grief would transform me as I had slowly and intentionally created a life and walked a healing journey that I loved. I loved me in 2023 and who I had become through the hard work, tears, acceptance and surrender. That version of me didn’t want to let go…let go of my mom who had been my anchor my entire life, let go of certainty, let go of comfort, let go of life.
2026 and now I look back toward that version of me who was scared, alone, and so very very very sad. I have so much compassion and empathy for her and her struggles. I cried every day for the first year to and from work, after I got home from work and sat in my backyard in my rocking chair while drumming, pulling weeds in my grief garden, planting flowers, trying to navigate impossible moments and making decisions without her guidance on people I loved but didn’t really know….she did all of that. And grief was right by her side.
Captain Marvel is one of my favorite heroines. In fact she’s one of my parts and I love her so much. She’s brave and courageous and intelligent and hilarious. She knows her worth, she knows her capabilities and she doesn’t take s**t from anyone. And….before she became Captain Marvel, she had to sit with grief and accept the ways she had abandoned herself to other peoples ideals, plans, and expectations. She had to sit with the grief of losing her mentor and her compass. She had to grieve. Once she grieved, grief cleared out space and within that expansion something within her transformed. And her rebirth and transformation was magical and powerful.
Creating Willow and Ash, which started in August of 2023, was born from my grief and pain and suffering. Honestly sitting here today, 3 years later, it was a vehicle to allow me to work through grief. And from my grief I created exactly what my body, nervous system and soul needed to help me move forward and continue on in life. I speak in metaphors, I create spaces of healing and safety using metaphors through art and color and sentimental objects that are specifically placed in just the right spot to evoke a thought…feeling or curiosity.
I have placed a lot of my grief into Willow and Ash and allowed it to be transformed into something….beautiful, because grief is simply love with nowhere to go. ❤️❤️❤️
And a year ago someone whom I value very deeply in my life, someone who has never led me wrong, challenged me in dark moments to see things…differently…gave me a simple task- find m people or things that you can do things with that your mom used to do with you….and see what happens.
And it clicked instantly….just like the moment Captain Marvel is fighting for her life in an impossible situation- that it has always been within me the whole time. All that was needed was to allow….accept….surrender to the grief and see where she leads me.
The death of my mom allowed the possibility of Willow and Ash to be born. Had she not died, I don’t think the Willow and Ash of 2026 would be the way it is and the way it’s transforming into something….I’m not quite sure of….and excited to watch unfold. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
My challenge to those of you grieving today the loss of a parent, brother, sister, child, health, relationship….whatever is missing…may you find the time to honor what was and allow what is….and get curious about what’s next. Do it afraid, do it scared, do it uncomfortable, do it not knowing …. Because on the other side of that fear I believe is something more beautiful than one can understand in this moment of grieving but grief knows….shes always known.
Love light and the shadows
Jennifer
