06/28/2026
an invitation to leave yourself aloneā¦
āThe problem is that the desire to change is fundamentally a form of aggression toward yourself. The other problem is that our hangups, unfortunately or fortunately, contain our wealth. Our neurosis and our wisdom are made out of the same material. If you throw out your neurosis, you also throw out your wisdom. Someone who is very angry also has a lot of energy; that energy is whatās so juicy about him or her. Thatās the reason people love that person. The idea isnāt to try to get rid of your anger, but to make friends with it, to see it clearly with precision and honesty, and also to see it with gentleness. That means not judging yourself as a bad person, but also not bolstering yourself up by saying, āItās good that Iām this way, itās right that Iām this way. Other people are terrible, and Iām right to be so angry at them all the time.ā The gentleness involves not repressing the anger but also not acting it out. It is something much softer and more openhearted than any of that. It involves learning how, once you have fully acknowledged the feeling of anger and the knowledge of who you are and what you do, to let it go. You can let go of the usual pitiful little story line that accompanies anger and begin to see clearly how you keep the whole thing going. So whether itās anger or craving or jealousy or fear or depressionāwhatever it might beāthe notion is not to try to get rid of it, but to make friends with it. That means getting to know it completely, with some kind of softness, and learning how, once youāve experienced it fully, to let go.ā
ā Pema Chƶdrƶn
AniPemaChodron
