Designed to Love : Healthy Relationships After Narcissistic Abuse

01/11/2024

I see a lot of absolutely incredible women struggle in relationships

Matter of fact, I was one of them

And I was exhausted from the coaches online saying I needed to be more feminine or more this or more that

I knew there had to be another way that didn’t require me to be someone I wasn’t

To top it off, I’d had a relationship with a narcissist and after that it felt even harder to find healthy love - even if what I was experiencing was much better than the abuse I had gone through

When I started to learn and understand behavior based on psychological science, I learned how to see things more clearly, how to set appropriate boundaries, identify red flags early on, and have self awareness around my own patterns and what made me jump back on a roller coaster - which may have been exciting but left me nauseated

Things changed. I was able to take better care of myself and I was able to make different decisions for my heart

I want that for you too so that when the right person stands in front of you, you know what to do - and when the wrong one shows up they don’t even get a second glance

08/15/2022

I’m baaaccckkk!

And I’ve got something up my sleeve!

I promise it’s good.

How has your summer been? What are you up to?

08/02/2022

11/24/2021

Being a powerful woman who ends up in narcissistically abusive or toxic relationships is confusing….

But it’s not uncommon.

Toxic men gravitate towards powerful women

Because a powerful woman has a huge capacity to get things done

She is willing to do the hard work for the relationship and her own personal growth

She makes a toxic man look good

And, unfortunately, a powerful woman is more likely to be able to rationalize away bad behavior or see multiple perspectives- leading her to be more compassionate and patient with her partner

But no one talks about that.

Instead these high achieving, emotionally intelligent, exceptional women are left to feel like there must be something wrong with them….

That they are somehow broken and that they are at fault.

If this is you. Let me be perfectly clear.

You are not broken.

And, let’s be honest.

You are feeling hurt, shame, and confusion after what you’ve been through.

You don’t know how you, as a successful woman with so many other accomplishments in life, ended up in this toxic, narcissistic relationship.

And though you may be out now (or creating your exit strategy)

You still aren’t sure what’s next

Because the lies you were told, the stories that were woven, the struggle you experienced, has left you in a fog and doubtful.

And because no one seems to understand and you feel embarrassed by the situation, you haven’t gotten help.

You’ve powered through many things before. You’re good at that.

But you don’t need to power through this alone.

After my narcissistically abusive relationship, I got help.

And then I got my masters in psychology.

And then I studied behaviorism.

So that I could coach women who were like me and felt duped by love

To reclaim their life, return to joy and ease, and create what they truly desire moving forward.

I’m now offering highly confidential and customized 1:1 containers for women to work with me. DM if you’re interested.

08/18/2021

When you have experienced narcissistic abuse, you often find yourself questioning...

Why? Why would someone choose to behave this way?

Why did they leave you for someone else?

Did this person ever care about me?

How did this happen?

Can this person change? Should we go to therapy?

That questioning can keep you in cycles of hurt, regret, and confusion.

I know it's hard to understand- that's normal, because you are not NPD

It is hard, as a loving, vulnerable person, to understand how someone could be so completely different

It is hard to feel like the love and everything you thought at one time was real, is a lie

But it's time to focus on you now and your healing

You did not lie about who you are and the love you carry within

Yes, go through your process of questioning and learning about narcissism for some time to put your mind at ease in understanding what happened

But don't live there

The focus has not been on you for some time and it may feel awkward, you may feel unworthy, it may feel difficult

And, taking care of you is the path to healing, it's the path to designing a life you love, and it's the path to finding love again

Chin up.

You got this.

I love you

08/12/2021

What if narcissists were highly predictable and you could see their next move coming every time?

The truth is, they are....

They are one trick ponies using the same manipulation tactic over and over again

~Trap Your Heart~

By appealing to your compassion, to your fear of being a "bad" person, to your desire to be a good parent, to your need to be enough, they sneak in and grab hold of you

And then you spin

They have you right where they want you

Scrambling to prove that you are enough, valued, worthy

Even after you've left, you argue, you fight, you try to show them that they were wrong

And their need to be fed by your reactions and their hold on you continues

The battle between "I am enough" and their claims that you are not

But when you come to a place of alignment in your own heart, in the knowing of your own worthiness, and you trust yourself again

There is nothing to defend, no place for the narcissist (or any toxic person) to hook you in

And even when that person acts out (if you must maintain contact due to children), you maintain your peace

You don't have to learn how to play their game

You get to learn how to exit it

08/09/2021

Never in my life would I have expected to end up in a relationship with a narcissist.

I'm not the kind of woman that acquiesces easily.

If I look back at the woman I was in my 20's and 30's, I can see that I had a fire in me that no one was going to put out and I knew it.

But there I was, this freaking amazing ass woman in my 30's in a relationship with a narcissistic man.

I was confused.

I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on!

It wasn't that I didn't love or care about myself.

But yet I was tolerating a whole world of bu****it from this man on a daily basis.

It was in the subtle places that he plugged in. The places he knew would feel familiar to me because he knew my past

(P.S. this man spent 3 years as a healer and friend to me who knew all about me and then used it against me later).

I remember the day I saw an article on narcissism for the first time and everything clicked.

The gaslighting, the blame shifting, his constant victimhood with me as the bully, the insults, the manipulation, nothing ever being enough....

My whole world changed once I understood.

It was like the shattered glass that had been scattered all around me was finally placed backed together and on it had the secret message I had been seeking for 3 years.

I left. It took a few months to get myself out but I was out.
It took a solid year of unraveling with the help of a mentor to return to the woman I knew myself to be....

And today, 5 years since I walked away, I celebrate the woman I have become, the work I have done, the masters in psychology I have earned, and the continual training I do so I can give to others the gift that my mentor gave to me..... a full return to myself.

01/06/2020

WHAT NO ONE IS TELLING YOU
It's not about finding someone that will SEE you

It's about you learning how to be VISIBLE

This applies to your business and to your love life

Be honest...you know they go hand in hand

You can't be hiding behind excuses, hurt, and fear if you want to make either one of these things spectacular

I don't care how successful you've been....you KNOW you were made for more than this

For unfathomable Love and Abundance

It's time for you to embrace a NEW way of showing up

It's time for you to get Visible, Seen, & Met

In Your Love Life, in Your Business, in Your World

If you're ready for that....

Here's the invite and the details:

We meet in person from Thursday to Monday for an in-depth luxury immersion.

It will include everything you need to dive in, feel supported, and be initiated into living your whole self!

We will continue to work 1:1 for 3 months weekly to integrate this new-found experience into your every day life

You will receive 3 sessions (one per month) with people in my network beyond your experiences with me for additional support

Then we meet again in person from Thursday to Monday for an in-depth luxury immersion where you will receive everything you need to feel supported and aligned with the truth of who you are.

During this time you will:
✨ Understand the subtle ways you have kept yourself from having the love, business, and relationship you've been seeking
✨ Learn how to shift those old, outdated, uncomfortable patterns that keep you spiraling in the same decisions and situations over and over again into new, aligned, and glorious ways of being that keeps you happy, peaceful, and fulfilled
✨ Quiet the negative self talk that has led you to believe that what you want just isn't meant for you, because it hasn't been happening
✨ Learn highly developed, evidence based practices that will align your body with your emotional state so you no longer experience anxiety, stress, and the emotional roller coaster that comes with relationship for you
✨ Resolve any old, residual, child hood hurt and trauma once and for all through profound care and love
✨ Know the essence and truth of your being so that you make better choices for yourself
… the rest is dictated by our alchemy and what arises to be healed during our time together.

I am now accepting 1:1 clients for this high level investment program.

PM me if you know this is for you

08/21/2019

IT'S TIME TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

I know you can feel in your bones that you are meant for more than what you have

Whether your burning desire is to have a love relationship that makes others wonder how you got so lucky

Millions of dollars in the bank from doing work you absolutely love

Travel around the world to exotic places

That simple garden country home where you can rest, recoup, and write your book

OR ALL OF IT

You have done lots of things...Manifesting, Law of Attraction, Laws of the Universe, Done Rituals and Cast Spells

None of it has worked but that yearning fire inside has not subsided

It's time for that to change

For you to get the LUSCIOUS LIFE you DESERVE

And it all starts August 26th
In my Group (link in the comments)

21 Days to Luscious Living ~ Create a Life You Truly Desire

It's complimentary

Are you ready to have your dreams come true?

08/19/2019

Did you know that if you touch yourself, you’re more likely to manifest what you want?

Actually, that’s a load of nonsense.

What is true though is that if you learn to have boundaries, you absolutely can.

Boundaries = The First Key to Everything You Desire

Ready to Create an Or****ic Life?

Join my Group for a RESET on life

21 Days to Luscious Living ~Create a Life You Truly Desire