08/22/2026
Motherhood was never meant to be a test you can fail.
Somewhere along the way, we took good intentions—breastfeeding, safe sleep, healthy food, developmental enrichment, screen limits, attachment, sleep training, chemical-free products, the right toys, the right routines—and turned them into an endless list of ways a mother could get it wrong.
And now mothers are exhausted.
Not just physically exhausted. Mentally exhausted.
Everywhere you look, there is another post telling you that what you feed your child is toxic, what you put on their skin is harmful, what you allow them to do will damage their development, or what you aren’t doing will leave a lasting impact.
There is always another study. Another warning. Another worst-case scenario.
And as a pediatrician, I believe deeply in evidence-based parenting. I believe in breastfeeding when it works for you. I believe in safe sleep, nutritious food, car seats, developmental support, and all the other things that help keep children healthy.
But I also believe in perspective.
Your baby’s health is not measured by whether you managed to do everything perfectly.
Sometimes, the healthiest choice for a family is the one that allows the mother to breathe again.
Maybe breastfeeding doesn’t work.
Maybe you need to supplement.
Maybe you don’t pump every three hours.
Maybe your baby sleeps differently than the book said they would.
Maybe dinner comes from a package.
Maybe the laundry waits.
Maybe you choose the easier option sometimes.
Your child does not need a perfect mother. They need a mother who is supported, emotionally present, and able to enjoy them.
Maternal mental health is not an afterthought to a child’s health. It is part of it.
So yes—let’s continue to educate parents. Let’s continue to share good information. Let’s continue to protect our children.
But let’s stop making every parenting decision feel like a referendum on whether we are good mothers.
There is room for evidence-based parenting and grace.
There is room for safety and sanity.
There is room for doing your best without being terrified that your best isn’t good enough.
You are allowed to care for your baby without losing yourself in the process. 🩷