03/30/2023
A thought this week from one of our founders and the reason behind the F6 rebirth. Understanding what others are going through is ALL the battle. We can only offer a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen.
Hopefully this will help create an understanding of our road ahead in helping people like Donny ALWAYS have a fighter mentality, NEVER lose hope, and KNOW he has an army of believers and supporters behind him 🤙🏼
"Morning coffee talk to myself and some reflection:
As expected, there are good days and there's bad days. Not necessarily pertaining to physical feeling but mentally and emotionally, and I'll tell you it's absolutely MORE draining than I've ever imagined. It's always great to see messages and hear "you've got this", "keep fighting", "you're in an inspiration", etc...But there's A LOT of times I ask myself "do I actually have this". A LOT of times I don't want to fight b/c fighting is all I do as of late, and im getting tired. And A LOT of times where feeling like an inspiration is the furthest thing I can think of to describe myself b/c I did this to myself....Or did I?
Having a disease, no matter what it is, is mentally debilitating. I've spent much of my time alone in March (more than usual) during the week with limited human interaction and limited conversations. This keeps ideas, thoughts, conceptualized "living policies" always at the forefront of my thought process. I wonder, often drifting into my own sort of meditation, if the steps I'm taking are worth the effort, the time, the research and I'm actually HEALING vs simply adding time that I'll spend doing who knows what....more FIGHTING? Does it really matter either way? The treatments I subject my body to - 6 weeks and 30 rounds of radiation, 18 total rounds of chemo (when I finish end of April), and 10 rounds of immunotherapy over 16 months - don't provide me with many expectations. This is the conflict internally I contend with daily. None of it is easy.
I constantly seek ways to feel empowered by this cancer. I'm missing that more often than not. Maybe b/c of the absolute unknown future. I'm supposed to live for today, right? Enjoy the life in front of me at this moment, right? But I can't get away from the hope of doing those things in 20, 30 years. Sh*t...even 10 years. KNOWING I could get there is the only thing that's the absolute, it's the vision I have to have at all times.
Recently, a cancer patient I follow here on Facebook, who always seems to be able to write exactly how I feel, had these words on a recent post and I have to say this exact sentence to myself every single day -
"The common denominator here is to curate my own experience through this and feel empowered every step of the way"
Looking forward to being guided into meditation this evening and thinking deeply on all this."
