03/12/2026
In Awe
I am a mother and I am always in awe of what mothers can do, of what women can do.
As a working mom I constantly feel the pull between my family and my work, always feeling like I’m doing too much and not enough at the same time. But when I really stop and think about how much I am holding, I am in awe of what we are all carrying in a society designed by men for men.
My daughter tugs at my clothes and asks me to play dolls, and I start to say yes, but then I remember I still have open charts and patients waiting on lab orders and unanswered questions, and then my husband asks me what he should make for dinner, (somehow we always forget we have to make dinner every night) and then I pick up my phone and feel the wave of despair at the state of the world and can’t help but wonder what the mothers in Iran are feeling as they put their children to bed, if they are lucky enough to put their children to bed. If any of us are luckily enough to put our children to bed. And all at once my heart swells and breaks and is in awe of this broken but magnificent world.
How do we hold it all? How do we witness death and corruption and cruelty and turn around and go to work and play with our children as if any of this is normal? How do we hold rage and fear and hope and joy all at once? Somehow we do it, and I am in awe of that, day after day.
There is profound darkness, but there is also light. And as I play dolls with my daughter and hear her giggles and celebrate my patient’s wins with them and feel connection with others and hug my family I am in awe of just how much light there really is.
We cannot forget the light.
The matriarchy is awakening, I can feel it somewhere deep inside, and I am in awe of what She will bring us. ✨