04/08/2026
“Life’s Loving is a tender devotion of self-love, and an honoring of how the breaking and the beauty of our human life is in fact, Life loving us deeply.”
These pictures were taken on October 11th at my first author fair. It was exciting, simple, sweet to connect with locals and other authors and edgy to share about my book of poetry and own that I actually was an author…
The Beauty
Two days later, my parents died in a tragic accident…
The Breaking
Losing my parents has been the biggest test to my heart’s belief that Life is always loving me. How can that possibly be loving?
It has been a test of my faith and simultaneously a rooted landing into a trust that goes beyond my mind and feels like ancient sediment rising to the surface and solidifying in my bones.
Grief has alchemized a deeper understanding of love, which is grief’s birthplace. A love that is not conditional, transactional, either/or, reaction or action based, but constant. It just is. A force and an energy beyond my understanding and yet something I feel and experience intimately.
The breaking moments are not separate from this love. They are born from it as well. My belief that love is the weaver of my life cannot only be for what I judge as the “good” moments but ALL of life. Seeing life through this belief means I inherently see the beauty or love in the breaking. It is not bypassing or toxic positivity. It is letting love cast a wider net and finding meaning and purpose in this human experience.
The beauty I have experienced (the mountain of love and support that has held my brother and I since the moment we found out, the closeness he and I now share, the solidity of the trust and grace in myself, the security created by my parents intentionality) does not negate the gut wrenching pain of never being able to hug them again. It doesn’t make it all “okay”.
The beauty does not negate the pain of the breaking anymore than the breaking negates the beauty. It is not an either/or. They exist side by side.
I published Life’s Loving before my parents passed and it now holds even more richness for me. As if my soul and Life knew I would need these words.