04/23/2026
What is “resilience?”
How does resilience or lack there of manifest for you in your daily life?
How do we increase resilience?
Well, we all can google the definition of resilience. “The ability of people, materials, or systems to recover quickly from difficult, damaging, or stressful situations.” (google search) We could even ask those irritating Ai tools that seem to be sneaking into everything and everyplace. (I choose not to, thanks.)
That however doesn’t address the personal connection to the action of being resilient. We each have our own difficult, damaging, and stressful situations that drain our reserves and can lead to a cascade of situations, choices, and outcomes.
I will not make any claim to be able to answer those questions for you. Sometime I even struggle to answer them for myself.
If you have experienced a intergrative session with me you have most likely heard me spin off some story or personal experience that I have feel connects with your story or situation, which I feel will validate your experience and shows my commitment truely seeing, listening, and hearing you. You may have also heard me talk story about my girls. With both being involved in the neurodivergent / ADHD / Autistic community. They have informed me that I too have a bit of the “tissums” and we, as a family have fun pointing out when those traits are in full form.
There is story to be shared; however I will refrain from allowing that “tissum” to make this even more wordy.
All the previous paragraphs have been lead up to sharing an experience which I feel connects the pattern of resilience. I asked, “how does resilience or lack there of manifest?” While stopping at the grocery I was confronted with one of my personal challenges / “stressful situations”. I have a very difficult time with reading. From flipping letters to having a difficult time “decoding” unfamiliar letter combinations visually, and linking those to verbal communication. Directly due to this I choose to not put myself in situations where I will have to. Especially in a public setting, out loud, and while I am tired.
Now this stressful situation was unfortunately unavoidable in part due to the person that came to help get something out of the cold case was not the person I had worked with before. I tried. I really did. My resilience was down, really down. Typically if possible to will just not be in public when I feel like this. My masking tools either dont work or I perceive them not working so… The name of what I needed, which I have never been able to read, really did not work out. My 1st through 5th attempt must have came across as being disrespectful. When I do try to read out loud I am used to the little laugh, smile, and I will admit I am very sensitive to indirect communication styles. I tend to catch those subtle jabs, eye rolls, etc. Let’s just say the vibe was not going well.
At this point I was already fully committed and there was no way of gracefully backing out of the situation. The embarrassment of not being able to read something was in full display. The group of folks waiting had by now also noticed. The person behind the counter eventually got what I wanted. No masking was going to get me out of this. So I just apologized, and moved on.
While my situational resiliency was impacted by first being physically tired, and more so by the event which took place. I was able to draw from my reserves, complete the task, and redirect what in the past would have been defensive, to connecting with myself. I know that by working through past triggers. Clearing them through emotional trauma release techniques, TBM emotional techniques vials, and UMAC I have reduced the physiologic impact and in turn maintained more resilience. Thats not to say there is not more to do. I did finish my grocery visit and choose to recharge with things like music, water, eventually a 20 min brain clearing nap, and my afternoon mood enhancer, espresso.
We all have our stories. Our personal stressful situations and we all could do with a reminder from time to time that we dont know what is going on is someone’s day. A little grace between each other can go along way to maintain our own resilience.