10/15/2026
I see you,
and I know you can do this -
fatherhood alone
with no partner,
invisible in a world that says men don’t really do that,
at least not well.
Maybe you’re a widower like me,
or she just left,
yes, women do that too,
for their own reasons.
You could be an old dad,
I’m one,
or way too young,
there are so many boys waiting to become men.
Now is the time.
People might assume you really have help from sisters, mothers and aunts,
smile quaintly,
how nice for you that you get to pretend to be a single parent.
Or maybe they tell you with their eyes
that you should have found a woman to raise your kids for you,
long ago.
She might come,
that perfect other someone who can fill all the spaces you never could,
you don’t have control over that,
no matter what people tell you.
You will have allies,
friends, family, neighbors who see you too,
who believe in you.
Cherish them,
they have wise hearts.
Other parents, some teachers, won’t know what to do with you,
how you fit into the unblemished world they’re trying to build.
Don’t let it slow you down,
they only matter for a few moments,
you are in the long game.
The people that matter have tiny hands,
big eyes,
and are still putting shoes on the wrong feet.
Even if they’re older they might need to be tucked in,
with greater care than most.
They must be held,
now,
and yes now,
and again.
You will feel like you’re being torn apart
when you’re in those places where a mom belongs.
It’s true, you’re being gutted,
it’s supposed to feel that way.
Nothing replaces a mother.
If you let yourself be broken open,
let go of the pieces you thought were you that don’t make sense anymore,
you’ll find that what's left is all that's needed.
The raw you,
the silly you,
the stupid you,
the part that always shows up no matter what,
the place in you that is finally,
just love.
That is what you bring.
I see you,
you can do this.
