Three Points Relationships

Call Directions Website Contact the business

Three Points Relationships Chicago area relationship therapy group led by Kate Engler. Couples/relationship therapy is our jam!

When things feel messy and complicated in your relationship, we are here to help. Tips, insights, & real life strategies because relationships are hard.

Most of us didn’t exactly choose the blueprint for our relationships. We inherited it.Date.Get serious.Move in.Get marri...
10/13/2026

Most of us didn’t exactly choose the blueprint for our relationships. We inherited it.

Date.
Get serious.
Move in.
Get married.
Merge everything.
Stay together forever.

This is sometimes called the relationship escalator—a culturally sanctioned script for how adult relationships are “supposed” to progress.

And the wild part? Most of us are so deeply programmed to follow it that we don’t even realize we’re on it.

Especially Gen X. We came of age questioning authority, distrusting institutions, and priding ourselves on independence…and then many of us stepped into remarkably conventional relationship structures without ever asking: Is this actually the relationship I want?

By midlife, that question can get pretty loud.
But we tend to think we have only two choices when a long-term relationship stops fitting: Grin and bear it.
Or blow the whole thing up.

What if there were more options?

That question is at the heart of something I call Creative Relationship Redesign (CRR).

It isn’t about saving every relationship.
It isn’t about ending every relationship.

And it definitely isn’t about replacing one rigid set of rules with another.

It’s about becoming conscious of the rules you’ve been following—and realizing you’re allowed to question them.

There is a surprisingly big world beyond the relationship escalator.

I explore it in my book, Gen XO: How Generation X Inherited a Relationship Model That Never Fit, What it Cost Us, and How We Build Something Better.

Gen XO out 10/20 (LINK IN BIO)

10/08/2026

As Oprah points out, “quiet qutting” has always happened in marriage, but today we call it something else.

Monica Corcoran Haral (MONICA CORCORAN HAREL), the writer of The Cut’s viral article on the topic, beautifully explains what’s different for modern women. The Gen X women I work with strongly agree.

10/01/2026

You can always tell what we’re trying to get to the bottom of by what books just arrived.

The shelves at Three Points are a running record of the questions our clients bring in — and the ones we can’t stop asking ourselves.

For Kate, those questions came from her therapy room, her own social circle, and even her own relationship. Why did all of these people who did everything “right” still feet stuck?

That research became Gen XO!

It also became a lot of shelf space. Gen XO comes out on 10/20. Pre-order link in bio!

IT’S HERE! Kate Engler’s, Gen XO, is now available for pre-order!What happens when an entire generation inherits a relat...
09/17/2026

IT’S HERE! Kate Engler’s, Gen XO, is now available for pre-order!

What happens when an entire generation inherits a relationship template that no longer fits?

As Eve Rodsky (NYT bestselling author of Fair Play) puts it:

“In this powerful, eye-opening book, Kate Engler makes visible the forces shaping Generation X relationships that too often go unseen. She debunks the myth that our problems can be chalked up to interpersonal difficulties alone and explores the outdated relationship template we inherited. With Gen XO, Engler is starting a conversation that matters. A must-read for Gen X women and men alike.”

The conversation starts now. Get your copy of Gen XO ✨LINK IN BIO

Shout out!
Fair Play + Unicorn Space Amy Cuevas Schroeder The Midst Kara Baskin

Pre-order starts today for our founder, Kate Engler’s book—Gen XO: How Generation X Inherited a Relationship Model That ...
09/15/2026

Pre-order starts today for our founder, Kate Engler’s book—Gen XO: How Generation X Inherited a Relationship Model That Never Fit, What it Cost Us, and How We build Something Better!

Go to the link in our bio to find out where you can grab a copy!

09/10/2026

There can be a lot wrapped up in the end of a relationship, and it can take time to understand what you’re really holding onto. Naming what you’re grieving can help you understand what still needs to be worked through, and eventually, let go.

08/26/2026

So excited to share this sneak peak of the cover for Kate Engler's book, Gen XO: How Generation X Inherited a Relationship Model That Never Fit, What it Cost Us, and How We Build Something better. (Coming in October!)

Thank you to the wildly talented George Stevens from G Sharp Design, LLC He was able to take Kate's word-salad of ideas, likes and dislikes and turn it into something perfect--every time.

Every relationship runs on a contract nobody signs — an unspoken agreement about who provides what: emotional labor, car...
08/13/2026

Every relationship runs on a contract nobody signs — an unspoken agreement about who provides what: emotional labor, caretaking, independence, safety.

It forms early, usually without either person noticing, and for a long time it works fine. Then life changes — kids, job loss, a parent’s death, just time — and the terms stop covering the actual relationship you’re in.

Most people don’t think ‘we need to renegotiate our contract.’ They think, when did my partner turn into this person?

For a lot of Gen X couples, the contract we signed without knowing it said something like: I won’t need you, you won’t need me, and we’ll call that independence instead of what it actually is.

Is there ever a time when music and/or nature aren’t a balm for the soul? We don’t think so! Here’s some of Here’s a few...
08/11/2026

Is there ever a time when music and/or nature aren’t a balm for the soul? We don’t think so! Here’s some of Here’s a few of associate therapist Jen Rozenberg’s sources of joy and calm lately.

07/23/2026

Anger is the emotion men are most allowed to have.
It doesn’t ask for vulnerability. It doesn’t require explanation. It has momentum.

Which is exactly why it becomes the default — and why what’s underneath it often goes untouched for years.
Fear. Shame. Grief. Rejection. These don’t disappear because they’re not named. They just show up sideways.

In the courtroom. With the kids. In the next relationship.
The work isn’t getting rid of the anger. It’s getting curious about it.

🔗 Link in bio — Navigating Forward, a confidential telehealth group for men at any stage of divorce. Limited spots. Starting soon.

Address

10024 Skokie Boulevard , Ste 207
Skokie, IL
60077

Telephone

+18445466642

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Three Points Relationships posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Business

Send a message to Three Points Relationships:

Shortcuts

Share