Murray Center for Behavioral Wellness

Murray Center for Behavioral Wellness Serving up bite-sized mental health tips for families who’ve said “WTF is happening?” at least once this week. (Us too.) Therapy-ish tips for life’s chaos.

Kid meltdowns? Teen eye-rolls? Your own? We got you—no judgment, no jargon, no couch required.

Not every friend is built for emotional depth.Some people are amazing at celebrating you. They hype you up, make you lau...
05/28/2026

Not every friend is built for emotional depth.

Some people are amazing at celebrating you. They hype you up, make you laugh, send the “OMG YESSS” texts, and show up when life feels bright and easy.

But when things get heavy… they disappear.

And that can feel deeply confusing because they’re not necessarily bad friends. Sometimes they genuinely care about you. They just don’t have the emotional capacity, communication skills, or discomfort tolerance to sit with pain, vulnerability, conflict, or emotional intensity.

So instead of recognizing the mismatch, you start questioning yourself. You may begin to wonder if you’re asking for too much…

But needing emotional presence is not “too much.” It’s a different kind of connection.

Some friends are confetti friends. Some friends are shelter friends. Some become both over time.

The important part is learning the difference so you stop expecting emotional depth from people who only know how to engage with the easy version of you.
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What if imposter syndrome isn’t actually about lacking ability?Sometimes it’s about being so used to your own strengths ...
05/26/2026

What if imposter syndrome isn’t actually about lacking ability?

Sometimes it’s about being so used to your own strengths that you stop seeing them as strengths at all.

When something comes naturally to you, your brain can downplay it. Meanwhile, other people are watching you do the exact thing they struggle with and wondering how you make it look so easy.

That’s the trap of competence blindness: you normalize your own abilities because you experience the effort behind them, not just the outcome.

Ease doesn’t make a skill less valuable. Often, it’s a sign you’ve developed a genuine strength.

What’s something you do naturally that other people constantly compliment you on?

Save this for the next time your brain tries to turn skill into “luck.”
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lPeople don’t usually say the wrong thing because they don’t care. They say the wrong thing because empathy is a skill, ...
05/21/2026

lPeople don’t usually say the wrong thing because they don’t care. They say the wrong thing because empathy is a skill, and most of us were never actually taught how to do it.

If you want to get better at showing up for someone who’s struggling, here’s what actually helps:

• Notice when you’re about to “fix it.”
If your first thought is “okay here’s what you should do…” just… pause. That urge is about your discomfort, not their need.

• Say the obvious thing out loud.
“That sounds exhausting.” “That’s really a lot.”
You don’t need a speech. Just show them you’re actually tracking.

• Stop making it about your own story.
It’s so tempting to jump in with “that happened to me too…” but most of the time it pulls the focus off them. Let them have the mic.

• Resist the urge to cheerlead in moments when they need to be heard. “It’ll work out!” / “Stay positive!” It makes sense why people say it, but when you’re in it, it can feel like being rushed out of your own feelings.

• Literally ask what they need. “Do you want me to just listen or help you think through it?”
People rarely get asked this, and it matters.

• Validate first, always.
Even if part of you is confused or disagrees, you can still say: “Yeah, I can see why that would hit you like that.”

• Stay simple. You don’t need the perfect words.
“I’m really glad you told me” “I’m here with you”
That’s enough more often than you think.

Empathy isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about being willing to stay present when things feel uncomfortable, messy, or unclear.

And if someone is trying, even awkwardly… that effort matters more than flawless words ever will.
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Gentle parenting was never supposed to mean permissive parenting.At its core, gentle parenting is about connection, emot...
05/19/2026

Gentle parenting was never supposed to mean permissive parenting.

At its core, gentle parenting is about connection, emotional attunement, and respect for children as developing humans. The research behind those ideas is strong. But somewhere along the way, many parents absorbed the message that setting limits or allowing frustration was harmful.

It’s not.

Kids need warmth and structure. Empathy and consistency. Frustration tolerance is built through experiences where a limit is held, a feeling is survived, and the relationship stays intact afterward.

A child being upset with your boundary does not automatically mean the boundary was wrong.
You do not have to choose between being loving and being clear. You just have to be able to say: “I understand you’re upset. And the answer is still no.”
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Ever loved someone who made you feel like the most important person in the world… and then the villain in their story, s...
05/14/2026

Ever loved someone who made you feel like the most important person in the world… and then the villain in their story, sometimes in the same day?

That push-pull dynamic isn’t random. For many people with BPD, relationships can swing between intense closeness and sudden distance. Not because they’re trying to hurt you, but because their nervous system is reacting to a level of emotional intensity most people never experience.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard. That doesn’t mean it didn’t affect you.

You can have compassion for what they were going through… and still acknowledge what it felt like to be on the receiving end of it.

Both can be true.
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Ever found yourself 10 tabs deep at 11pm thinking, “Wait… is this me?”You’re not spiraling, you’re searching.There’s som...
05/12/2026

Ever found yourself 10 tabs deep at 11pm thinking, “Wait… is this me?”

You’re not spiraling, you’re searching.

There’s something deeply human about finding language for experiences you’ve carried without words. It can feel validating, even life-changing.

But a label is a starting point, not the full story.
The internet can point you in the right direction, but it can’t understand your full context: your history, your relationships, your life.

If you’ve been going down the self-diagnosis rabbit hole lately, pause and stay curious.

If you find you really need more clarity, consider speaking with a clinician. You deserve understanding that goes deeper than a 60-second video.
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“Gaslighting” has become the word for everything.A disagreement. A different memory. A bad argument.But not everything t...
05/07/2026

“Gaslighting” has become the word for everything.
A disagreement. A different memory. A bad argument.

But not everything that feels confusing or hurtful is gaslighting.

Real gaslighting is a pattern. It’s intentional. It’s about control. And it happens over time.
That doesn’t mean what you experienced wasn’t real.

You can feel hurt, confused, and destabilized… without it being a calculated manipulation.

The distinction isn’t about being technical, it’s about clarity. Because when everything gets labeled the same, we lose the language for what actually happened.

Save this so you have the language when you need it.
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Executive functioning is the quiet engine behind your child’s everyday routines. When it’s running low, behavior struggl...
11/18/2025

Executive functioning is the quiet engine behind your child’s everyday routines. When it’s running low, behavior struggles show up loud.

Here are 8 FACTS that finally connect the dots & explain the behaviors you see in your kid every day.
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ADHD isn’t about missing focus — it’s about misfiring brilliance. When your brain learns to channel its chaos, it become...
11/18/2025

ADHD isn’t about missing focus — it’s about misfiring brilliance.

When your brain learns to channel its chaos, it becomes rocket fuel.

Drop a “same!” if you’ve ever accidentally become an expert in something you discovered three hours ago.

Share this post with a friend and/or a loved one that has super powers! 💛🤗

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