09/08/2026
September has always been a harder month for me.
There are certain times of year that our bodies seem to remember before we even consciously realize what’s coming and September holds a lot for me.
It was around this time of year 5 years ago that I journeyed across the country to try an experimental treatment while my body was completely failing me and my organs were shutting down. That treatment experience was traumatic and very demanding of myself and my loved ones in so many ways.
September also carries the memories of saying goodbye to loved ones and dear friends who suffered from some of the same diseases I live with.
September is Su***de Awareness month, one of the very things that claims so many who suffered from CRPS like myself.
And last year, during my birthday weekend, September became the month I had to say goodbye to one of my dogs. My best buddy, companion and the one I called my best friend.
So when September comes around, I know I need to be a little more intentional with myself. I need to schedule in intentional time for joy but more importantly grace.
Not because I can make the memories disappear. Not because I can control what life is currently serving me. But because I can pay attention to what is happening within me while I move through it. Having a flexible nervous system allows me to navigate these things without the weight impacting my ability to function on the day to day.
So that means staying tapped into my nervous system.
It means creating intentional moments to slow down, being present, and actually checking in with myself instead of simply pushing through one thing to the next. It’s easy to get caught up in the September hustle of back to school and all the demands that come with this time of year.
Something I hear often from people who come in for my services is that they feel disconnected from their bodies and sometimes that disconnection is intentional.
They don’t want to check in. They don’t want to feel, they don’t want to deal with the hard stuff.
They don’t necessarily want to know where their nervous system is at because they don’t love what they might find there.
And I understand that. I was like that for a long time and it made me sick, very sick. So sick that I landed bed bound for over 7 years.
But one of the things I’ve learned through my own journey of CRPS remission is that disconnecting from what we’re experiencing doesn’t make it disappear, in fact it lives on. So unless you we process it, and find a way to be present and cope with it, it will show up at the least convenient times, in the least convenient ways.
Sometimes, moving through something requires us to be willing to feel it. To notice it. To be present with it without allowing it to completely consume us. It means dealing with the hard, facing the hard so that it’s no longer heavy. And yes this sometimes means seeking professional help to navigate it. And that’s ok! You either deal with it now or it will show up later in ways you don’t have control over.
The things we continually push aside can still influence how we respond to stress later, sometimes showing up when we least expect them. Showing up as irritability, frustration, lack of mental clarity, illness, depression, anxiety and so on.
That’s why I believe so strongly in finding tools that help us stay connected to ourselves. Tools that ask us to show up for ourselves.
Your tools may look completely different from mine.
Maybe it’s Reiki.
Maybe it’s a Neuro Reboot.
Maybe it’s movement, breathwork, meditation, time outside, therapy, journaling, music, EMDR, rest, or simply giving yourself five quiet minutes to ask:
“How am I actually doing today?”
The goal isn’t to never experience stress, grief, overwhelm, or difficult seasons. That is part of being human. You are supposed to feel, and what CRPS taught me… what a gift it is to be alive and able to feel and process and grow from these things.
Life is going to keep being life.
For me, the goal is to continue building a nervous system that can experience those things, respond to them, and find its way back toward regulation.
September may always carry some heaviness for me.
But instead of disconnecting from that heaviness, I’m meeting myself there with awareness, compassion, intention, and the tools I’ve gathered along the way.
Because sometimes moving forward doesn’t mean leaving something behind. We have to find a way to carry it differently, process and deal with the hard stuff even when we don’t want to.
If my clients learn anything from my journey I hope that it’s that self preservation is key, taking care of our whole body matters, and this includes taking accountability for the things that happened to us so that life can happen for us as we move forward.
— Alyssa
